Monday, February 21, 2005
A Book from A Book-Sale
Ah just started readin' an old book named "Please Love Me" by an author named Miller. It's de true story ov a beautiful Hollywood starlet, who unfortunately has a very Puritanical mother & an ice-cold father. De girl eventually gains modest fame (they didn't use her real name in de book), after bein' tossed about on de castin' couch, an' then bein' discovered as a beauty or a talent (introducin' de beautiful or talented, Miss County Farm!). However, she's so bitter about her own life from de very start (although on de surface she appears to have it all) that she tells a horrid lie on her 'best friend' an' gets de girl in serious trouble; she almost starts a forest fire; an' at de height ov her modelin' career, she still has no female friends because ov her suspicion that other women have an easier life than she's ever had. She's de "girl next door" all-American blonde wif social status an' de old-money to go wif it, but she envies her maid--a dirt-poor Black woman (de story's set in de 50s-60s)--because she thinks de black woman prob'ly has a more lovin' family than she's ever had. She joins de circus, then finally discovers Christianity. That's where we're all supposed to get sentimental an' cheer for her?! Ah haven't finished de book, because ah can't quite sympathize wif de woman's mean-ness. Her likkle superiority complex that makes her feel that other females should chase after her to be worthy ov her friendship, while she stands aside in judgement ov them an' ov all they do, an' tries to sniff out any cracks in their armour or weak spots in their personality, just makes her seem so hateful--'B-I-T-C,' might begin to describe her. Ah can understand that she internalizes some fings--introverts tend to be more outspoken when irritated, an' more contemplative otherwise--ah can relate to that--but her decision to busy herself behind de scenes, tellin' lies an' makin' so much malicious likkle mischief just doesn't sit well wif me. De author tries to paint her as a sympathetic heroine, a misunderstood Cinderella, but her joy at others' misfortune, her anger at others' good fortune, an' her inability to feel good about herself unless she's criticizin' or puttin' down another girl just doesn't endear her to de reader. I'm stuck wonderin' how someone who's blessed wif all de comforts ov upper-middle America could feel justified in begrudgin' those less fortunate, simply because her life wasn't perfectly perfect--an' she suspects de less fortunate might have de one fing that she really wants. Ah fink if de book teaches young girls anyfing, it teaches them what NOT to do, if they want love an' affection from de people around them. Anyway, havin' said that, I'm not yet at de point where I'd recommend de book.