De Carol that Brought de Pork Some Christmas

Here's Your "STUPID" Sign! (Bill Engvall, Chorus sung to"Jingle Bells")

I took my son to the mall the other day to see Santa Claus
The woman in line behind me says, "Hey is that Santa Claus up there"?
I said "no ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double. Here's your sign!"
The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door
As I was walking out the store a man stopped me and said
"Hey, are you going to hang that on your door?" I said:
"No sir, it's a Christmas toilet seat cover, got the idea from Martha Stewart"
(Chorus) Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your STUPID sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your STUPID sign -- Oh!
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your STUPID sign
You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your STUPID sign

I hung the little Christmas lights on my house, the ones that blink on & off
My neighbour comes over and says
"Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that?"
I said "I've got my son inside plugging and unplugging it,
-- plugging and unplugging it. Here's your sign!"
I took my family to buy a Christmas tree the other night
When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says
"Hey, y'all here to buy a Christmas tree?" I said,
"No sir, my son needs to go to the bathroom and these trees looked really inviting. Here's your sign!" (rep. Chorus)
Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time

And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store the other day
And I heard a woman ask the clerk
"Do you know what time Midnight Mass starts on Christmas Eve?"
And in the holiday spririt I walked over and said "Here's your sign!"
(She earned it on her own!) Happy holidays everybody!