Piggy & Pastor

Hi, Bloggers, how's your day goin'? Ah listened to a little bit ov Dear Pastess last night--his show is on far too LATE; people can't possibly listen to de whole fing and then wake up at a decent hour to start their day--anyway, for de past few nights, he's been givin' lovers advice like he does in The Star--although last night his official topic was depression--and ah realized that he's always tellin a lot ov de wives who call him not to punish husbands by shuttin' them out ov de bedroom, but to mediate their own marital disputes. Yet de wives who call seem to keep hintin' that, if they're displeased, de husband "goin' to sleep pon de couch" until every-fing's settled. That still boggles De Piggy's mind, Bloggers. Firstly, a husband would sleep on de couch just because wifey ordered him to do it? Secondly, if he likes de couch as opposed to de bed, that's a whole other talk-show; and finally, ah could never try to punish or spite Mr. Pig by banishin him to de couch or witholdin mi wifely favours when he annoys me, because ah like mi husband too much to do that sort of fing, so I'd be punishin mi own self. He's just a really good sort, thank God, and he doesn't play those mean-spirited games when he's irritated at me. Ah wouldn't want to spite mi-self by banishin' him, also because bein' wif him is one ov life's greatest sources ov enjoyment to me. Ah fink Dear Pastess should tell his radio congregation once and for all to stop callin him wif this silliness about usin' intercourse as a weapon to spite a spouse; that stuff can break up marriages. I've known mi husband for twelve years, and been married to him for almost ten, and so far we've got by wif just lovin' each other. And ah don't care who says I'm "soft" to mi husband; I'm not hung up on provin mi-self to people. Different strokes for different folks, ah guess. Okay, Bloggers, have a great day--and Kiss De Piggy.