...United Moppets of Jerk Pork...

OBAMA -- In my sons' lifetime!

2008-11-05T10:40:00.004-05:00

So many hurdles, Obama. They're victories in waiting.

Obama is sharper than sharp itself.

Nobody's stereotype; America's ambition.

Obama is calmer than calm itself.

Realization of MLK's impossible dream.

Obama is vital, absolutely alive.

God bless him. God guide him. God grant him an' Biden wisdom.

God love him. It's impossible not to love him.

Twice de candidate of any campaigner, pioneering president.

A conceptualizer who executes his concepts. Brilliantly.

A thinker who DOES.

An inspiration. A commander.

A bastion of humanity and great spirit.

Likkle Plumba Bwoy

2008-11-05T10:34:00.003-05:00

Plumb, they told me, paw rappa paw-palm

A PalinPloy to see, paw rappa paw-palm

I'll play my wrench for him, paw rappa paw-palm.

Etc, etc, etc.

(Adapted from radio.)

Must-see VP

2008-11-05T10:17:00.004-05:00

Knowledgeable Biden.

Handsome, too.

Eloquent, Experienced, Conscientious, Vice-presidential. (Presidential)

Handsome!

CHANGE

2008-11-05T09:44:00.005-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS, ObamaBidennnn!

CONGRATULATIONS, de world! PROGRESS!

This is de 1st election in which de Pigly family has gotten so involved. Donatin', attendin' even not-so-near rallies, participatin' in so many ways, along wid votin' for an exceptional candidate.

McCain conceded graciously, like de pre-campaign McCain we all know an' luv -- that's de gracious guy that coulda won.

Baby Steps

2008-08-31T15:55:00.013-05:00

Mi likkle gentleman is a very slim toddler. Some might say mawga, an' he doesn't have de heftiest appetite, but am pleased he's now eatin' a broader variety. He eats:

Half of any of these things: Banana, egg, apple, carrot, cup of broccoli or porridge wid any milk.

One of any of these things: handful of cheese cubes, walnuts, or almond slices; cookie; small bowl of any soup, vegetable, or rice an' peas.

Two of any of these things: sardines (single fish, not 2 tins), slices of bread (no crust)

He likes water, orange juice an' coconut water. Thank God.

Mi cousin was tellin' mi how one of her Kindergarten students pushed (no, shoved -- no, shub!) down another student, an' bust him head. She'd scolded de student, an' he was angry, so bein' unable to vent his anger on her, he merely turned to de nearest classmate, an' topple over student an' desk wid one raahtid shub (shove). After EMTs an' all dem left de scene, she still figurin' out how him coulda do that in her class. (Ah told her about "Large" an' she told me about that kid.) "Best to avoid dem, sometimes," was her conclusion. "'Cause some a dem really troubled." By de way, she mentioned that in that student's family, bein' scolded by a woman is a no-no. Oh. Well, then.

P.S. Re mi post about names, ah found out that a candle-maker's a "chandler."

Tami Chynn's New Look

2008-08-31T15:40:00.007-05:00

(Tami & Sean Paul woulda mek a cute couple -- psst, Tami! S.P.! Get married to each other nuh.)

Her new look is reminiscent of Britney's best look -- Britney's blonde teenage look -- except that Chynn's got a shorter hairstyle.

Tami's lookin' good, though. Justin Timberlake woulda prob'ly faint from "mistaken Deja Vu" (Kinda like what Jdid wrote about in his "Faces" post.) to de way she favor de better-days Britney. De makeup people clickin' too: her eyes somehow look larger.

Anyway, har management know wha' dem doin', that's a proven marketable look, an' she sassy wid it! Roll it, gyal!

Parents' Worst Fear

2008-08-26T19:08:00.009-05:00

Heard on de news how SpraggaBenz' 17-y-old son met his demise in an alleged shootout wid de police. That's news parents cringe at de prospect of hearin' re their own kids. De news report said that he was his father's namesake, an' that he played de younger version of his father's character inShottas (see left of lower part of pic above). Kids grow up fast -- one minute changin' de diapers, then...
That tragic report amounts to de relevant parents' worst fear.

To Scold Or Not To Scold

2008-08-22T18:43:00.011-05:00

Ah heard Michael Anthony Cuffe, a J'can radio announcer, sayin' that he put off havin' kids for many years, 'cause he didn't want de responsibility. He understood that de statement sounded selfish an' shallow, but he understood that it is remarkably responsible to avoid incurring de responsibility until he was ready to embrace it.

Responsibility an' kids: What yu woulda do if whenever yu visit a certain household, there's always a certain kid, larger an' older than your kid, an' determined to assert himself in unpleasant ways wid de smaller kid? De older kid is part of a group that romp together an' are old enough to talk, etc.. My precious likkle jungle of bwoy doesn't know them much, 'cause we don't go there that often, an' he isn't talkin' clearly yet -- but de rest of de kids luv him, it's that big kid who's most unpleasant.

He disregarded a large box of toys, an' towerin' over mi likkle lightweight, he dragged a small car from mi Piglet an' almost made him fall. Ah told de older kid to behave himself an' give it back (it's not his). He got an attitude, threw it in Piglet's direction (almost hittin' Piglet's foot), an' ran off. Ah wanted to yell at that pickney or slap him -- just one sharp lick, just one. But that woulda been irresponsible... That rude likkle so-n-so.

World's Fastest Then, World's Fastest Now

2008-08-20T21:14:00.006-05:00

FYI: Pic on this post isn't a ChinaChambers scenario. Asafa, I'm puttin' your pic on this post, 'cause wi naw dash yu weh. You've been our champ for years, an' nutten caan stop de luv. De current winners like Bolt share de luv.

Will de fastest man in de world get de world's most impressive endorsements now?

Will Bolt be rakin' in de contracts like Anderson used to do?

Is that what usually happens wid non-U.S. champions, anyway?

Can yu imagine if Bolt face did bleach an' him hair did Sharptonized?

De man is a champion, an' now in particular a major role model. Asafa is a champion, an' now in particular a dif'rent kinda major role model, 'cause he's got a setback to rise above. De ladies were dark horses, eh, all champions an' role models. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE DE GLOBAL CAPITAL OF SUMTING OTHER THAN MURDER! JAMAICA!

Be inspired, all de pickney dem out there. Walk a mountainside. Eat cabbage an' green banana, an' ignore de burger an' fries. Dream yu dream, an' live it any likkle way yu can 'til de bigger days arrive. Inspiration a flow from de sprinta dem. Tek it. De sky's almost de limit.

Plenty

2008-08-20T09:20:00.008-05:00

Over de times of bein' absent from de blog, ah relocated -- among other tings. That would mean new church, new people, etc., but nutten like that yet. In essence, I'm not de most "people person" you'll ever meet.
Example: Relative introduced us to nice enough lady, who happens to mention that her friend had a nervous breakdown, an' it somehow fell upon her to step in as a friend an' keep de woman's daughter for a couple of months -- never mind that de woman has family in NY, nearness to de daughter's school, etc., made nice-enough-lady de likely guardian to offer assistance.
She said she don't know what kinda parent de mother is, 'cause de girl only have two pairs of shoes an' five undergarments. When ah asked why she woulda mention that to us an' she don't really know wi, she said that as decent folks she know wi coulda sympathize wid de negligence of that insufficient amount of clothin' that she will now have to spen' money to supplement. Ah told her that throughout mi school years, ah could recall havin' five "school" panties an' a "church" one (an' two "goin' out" ones that might never have existed, 'cause no occasion was important enough for mi granny to authorize de wearin' of dem). Granma woulda "tack up" an' replace only on an as-needed basis, an' even mi male cousin can vouch for de million times wi hear har say, "Mek mi tack up that brief fi yu!" There was no such ting as destroyin' one that yu didn't like, soh that it would be replaced. If she had to use needle, thread, glue, thumb tacks, fishin' line (yu get de point!), they would be "tacked up" an' worn. De "retired an' replaced" undergarments didn't disappear, they showed up durin' de holidays when yu deh home fi weeks. "It don't matter that dem old, drudge dem anyway - yu not stoopin' down fi play marble like de boys dem, soh de 'oldies' won't be seen out an' about." Maybe, she could've afforded better an' plentier, but ah didn't think it was negligence. Three pair of school socks, one pair of church socks, two school ribbons, two white church ribbons, one school handkerchief, one church handkerchief... Yu understan'. From a backgroun' in which yu have one pair of school shoes an' one pair of church shoes (an' if de school shoes at shoemaker an' yu wear de church shoes to school, den yu haffe "walk pon egg shells" wid dem), it's kinda difficult to consider five panties as negligence to daughter. "Nice enough lady" asked if ah only have five now. Taken aback, ah said no. Ah buy dozens, but Granma teachin's dem rule: Ah still mek use of just enough, an' use de rest to replace or for a "rainy day"/momentous occasion that might never come. "Nice enough lady" said maybe that's because she herself isn't from de "islands," an' in America, people at least buy enough clothin' to clothe demself an' their children wid comfortable abundance. A younger woman who was there said she's from de C'bean, an' her parents always bought her plenty personal wear an' every-ting, so it's not an island ting, it might be more of a social ting, as her family's always been Extremely Upper Class, she said, "no offense."
Mi noh bother seh nutten else. Maybe "nice enough lady" was tactless in mentionin' it, maybe ah was tactless in discussin' it. Obviously, wi don't agree, an' she waan convert me to seein' de mother as negligent, widout givin' a proper example of it. Mi naw goh agree, soh that's it.

Let's Call a Shovel a Spade

2008-08-18T12:11:00.003-05:00

"Why dese girls bleachin'?"
"Why dem doin' such a eediat ting like damagin' dem skin?"

People are rational -- or at least that's what economic theory says. "Dese girls" are people, so at least in much-proven scientific theory, they are rational. They perceive a significant benefit to lightenin' a dark complexion, soh dem tek de significant risk of burnin' off de dark pigmentation -- repeatedly.

When will they stop? When:
1. ...pigs tek de wings of de mornin'.
2. ...all dem people inna Spain stop discriminate so politically incorrectly an' start to luv dem own black self:).
3. ...de couple givin' de anti-bleachin' talk at de technical school no longer consists of a black "success story" of inner-city origins an' his near-white wife, who isn't enough for him, as he sneakily pursues de adolescent "brownin's" in his audience.
4. ...wi stop shunnin' de sun an' becomin' vitamin D deficient, for not havin' been "that black in a loong time!"
5. ..."high color" isn't a ticket outta de ghetto on some newly-famous dj-chantin' wagon.
6. ...When L'oreal no longer allegedly feels de need fi bleach Bebouncé.
7. ...de 1drop rule an' de blue veins get sincerely done wid.
8. ...we understan' de all-encompassin' influence of ALL de world-powwa's characteristics (racial, cultural, an' otherwise.)
9. ...our own family members finally leggo de concepts of colonial/plantation social stratification.
10. ...newa World Orda chip een.
Everyone in every country inna de world is seekin' a path to "betterment," respect, an' social acceptance. De impetus for bleachin' is no mystery at all.

Abstract "Dinnertime Talk" in de Pigly Household

2008-08-14T06:26:00.007-05:00

Hubby heard that, ages ago, people's occupation determined their surname. For instance, a carpenter would be Mr. Carpenter, an' his son would usually continue de name in continuin' his father's line of work. So, accordin' to that theory, a farmer would be Mr. Farmer, a fisher would be Mr. Fisher, a cobbler Mr. Cobbler, James the milliner would be Mr. James Milliner, etc.

Ah said to hubby, "Mi aunt married name 'Sailor', so her uber-great-grandpa-in-law was a sailor, then."
Hubby says, "Piggy, if her uber-great-grandpa-in-law was actually Mr. Kente, de African, an' his slave-owner was Mr. Sailor, then his descendant wouldn't be Kunta de 33rd, he might just be Mr. Toby Sailor."

Oh.

Then, wi started ponderin' how names affect concepts. For example, de surname "Driver": (luv Minnie, by de way), that name implies then that a chariot or carriage, etc., had to be 'driven' so de concept of drivin' wasn't born wid de advent of de automobile. "Or is there a "Mr. Rider" or "Mr. Walker" or "Mr. Carrier"... Also, Merchant an' Vendor; but maybe not Servant, Artisan, or Lumberjack. Names were allegedly translated in modern times too, names like Sargeant, Officer, Minister, an' so on. Descriptive names an' animal names exist as well, names like Fine or Lion, in much de same way Native Americans use descriptive names. There might have been another word for seamstress, or else bein' de purview of women, seamstress was a less likely surname.

"Yu might hear de last name "Surgeon" but not de last name "doctor" or "physician" so maybe all doctors used to chop, or surgeons didn't need to chop, per se, ages ago. An' there's no such last name as dancer, is there? So, maybe dancers then were hoppers or tappers, as in Mr. Hopper or Mr Tapper. An' ah mentioned to hubby that de allegedly oldest of de professions isn't represented, so women prob'ly weren't named for their occupations but for their father's if de woman didn't marry. Mr. Pig thought for a moment, "Hooker," he said, "De name 'Mr. Hooker' exists." Far-fetched though, soh wi didn't bother pursue that concept. Maybe, de less legitimate occupations back then (whores, even actors, etc.) weren't recognized. But then again, "Minstrel" is prob'ly a last name for actors. An' maybe dif'rent prominent occupations existed then, for instance, "Mr. Reader," " Mr. Messenger," or "Mr. Forester" (unlike 'busher', forester cut timber/lumber??).

Now de whole Pigly family thinkin' up occupation-type names. Outta nowhere one of wi might shout: "Potter" or "Tiler" or "Priest."

We thought of: Cook, Butler, Parson, Mason, Author, Singer, Joiner, Butcher, Baker, Friar, Blacksmith, Goldsmith, Tinker, Brewer ... an' ah think that's it. It's fun thinkin' dem up, an' kids enjoy it. De kid in all of us too. Try it nuh!

Cast Your Bread Upon The Water

2008-08-12T11:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday never promised me this mornin'
This mornin' never promised me this evenin'
Today not promisin' me tomorrow
But ah still mek plans.

Ah don't really mek firm plans, anyway, just tentative ones that hang pon de knowledge that He might change dem at any moment. That, ah guess, is havin' de fear of God. 'Cause God call any number any time. De one in de box can't mourn dem-self, frien' an' family do that, an' blame one another, an' argue 'bout de bizniz of de dearly gone.

Could this blog be a diary fi mi pickney dem look to for a deeper insight to me -- it's anonymous, but maybe not -- ah should prob'ly start writin' now wid great focus.

Happy Independence!

2008-08-06T11:27:00.012-05:00

Jubilee! Jubilee!

This is de year of Jubilee.

Jubilation pon de nation!
Victoria dash wi weh.

Jubilee! Jubilee!
De Queen set harself free
An' freedom trickle dung to we.

Trickle likkle dung --
Jubilee, all de same.

De islands get life abundant?
Or abundant life sentence?
Praise God, an' mean it,
Happy Independence!

Disclaimer:

This is not Independence blasphemy -- if it's a blast-fi-me, it's a blast-fi-yu as well.

Him Mad

2008-08-06T08:16:00.014-05:00

If him run yu down wid a rum bokkle
'Round East Queen Street
An' you & him a strangers
Who neva before did meet,
Him mad.

If him seh, "Me a big-time rappa!
Nuff dollars me coulda drop!"
But when yu tell him, "Rap a verse!"
Him seh, "Wrap verse? Me wrap fish inna Star at Chiney shop."
Him mad.

If lightnin' flash, an' him jump inna de air
Wid Kodak smile: "Jah-Jah tek mi pitcha!"
But de smile is all him a wear
Naked as truth, but like truth him noh care.
Him mad.

Don't say, "Is crack him crack --

him neva breastfed when him did likkle,

Him only get strap an' chicken-back."

'Cause mad doan simple; mad tek much more than dat.

Maybe, him mad.

2 Two's

2008-08-05T20:40:00.006-05:00

It would be nice if (wed or not) Mr. & Mrs. Pitt stay together. Mr. Pitt seems like a genuinely nice guy.

ChrisB an' RihannaF seemed like they'd make a nice couple, before they became a couple. Now that they're an item ... dunno. Treat each other well.

Nowadays Life

2008-08-05T20:09:00.003-05:00

This is de kinda show that tops mi list, nowadays. There's a big, big world filled with children's shows that fill mi life in recent times. Anyway, de pic on this post is Snook, de new top-celebrity.

SEX AND THE CITY is Rubbish.

2008-08-05T11:05:00.003-05:00

SJP sold her soul, or wha' ...
She's somebody ah always liked from de Square Pegs days, however: Sarah Parker's a married woman (forget de latest gossip surroundin' her marriage). She's expressed in interviews that she lives a pretty conservative life: Mom, Dad, Kid. Yet, on screen, she's de fashionable Carrie, blankly an' brusquely askin' a young woman who told her de woman's savin' herself for marriage, "Saving what?" As though such abstinence were ridiculous. That scene from de popular series seems to imply that celibacy or virginity is gauche. Forget conservative-married Carrie, does SJP consider that she's advocatin' dangerous promiscuity to countless young girls who idolize her? Maybe she soothes her conscience wid de excuse that it's just a role she's playin'.

A 13-year-old girl told me that she admires Carrie, 'cause Carrie & friends are so happy an' pretty. That girl's lackin' parental guidance, but many older females share de same delusion.

So many people actin' like de show's a grand celebration. Chupse.

Renovation

2008-07-31T13:12:00.005-05:00

I'm redecoratin' a bit.

Changed de template a few times, but now all de links disappear.

OK, ah gotta fix those.

Ah not quite certain what kinda blog this should be now.

a) Poetry blog

b) Caribbean culture

c) Mostly music & food -- sounds like a party.

d) Jamaican nostalgia

e) Miscellaneous

OK, miscellaneous it is.

Tribute to Heath Ledger's Life -- So Fully Lived

2008-01-28T09:18:00.000-05:00

There was a blinding illumination
On the horizon
A brilliant being
Now ascended from our sight
Yet now most widely seen --
BRAVE Heath
Trascendent, as always.

Angry, hungry Heath
Who chewed his inner quarrel
Like his rice & peas an' sorrel
So almost-accessible
So naked but invisible
Desperately Unique
And strongest when weak.

Such nuance and sporadic insouciance, no labels fit
No "sexier Matt Damon, deeper Jude Law, warmer..."
No Hollywood hunk, heart-throb, cliché, cliché, cliché
He was I must live my life today, today, today!
To transcend tomorrow...
So again, I am moved by him
Inspired to be my own gift
To move the world
With a whisper
Of gargantuan talent.

We can hold a death grip on the talent of
Ed Norton or Jake Gyllenhaal, or Matt, or Tobey, or ...
Or we can let loose our own talent
Into the world
Today, today, today -- as Heath did --
Had he procrastinated
That ancient soul yet ahead of its time
He might entirely have died.

But he hasn't.

Thank God.

Merry Christ's Birth

2007-12-25T07:26:00.000-05:00

Have a happy & holy Christmas an' 2008!

Kinsey: Another Overdue Review

2007-12-12T14:48:00.000-05:00

Un-sexy. Decidedly un-sexy. (Not very informative.)

JT an' Timba had to "bring sexy back" after this movie made sexy pack up an' leave home vex-vex. Liam & O'Donnell R so much better than what was required of them. Linney killed sexy wid that silly (Spidey's) Aunt May expression that she pasted on thru-out de movie.

Ah know DVDs are dirt-cheap these days, but if yu spend even a penny on this, U'll B cross, angry, an' miserable that yu didn't just fling 'way that penny an' waste it in a nice sensible way.

Christmas Spirit

2007-12-05T10:15:00.000-05:00

Christmas Holy-days are on their way, as de readin' teddy bear in this pic hints -- he should be readin' of Christ's birth, instead o' "Night before Christmas" -- but that's okay.

I've put up mi Christmas tree (haven't fully decked it yet tho), an' I've started preparin' mi bakin' ingredients (soakin' raisins, etc.) -- as a result I'm feelin' de Christmas spirit. Ah found some sugar (brown) on sale nearby an' mixed fruit-- no sorrel yet tho. Anyway, hopefully Christmas is pullin' yu into it's cool, warm embrace. I'm definitely returnin' its embrace.

Overdue Review

2007-11-30T10:54:00.000-05:00

Ah finally watched Brokeback Mountain -- very attentively. It's well-made: exceptional acting, smooth cinematography, fluent controversy in de story -- it's a lot more than de 'butt' of 'happy' jokes; it's influential.

1. Heath is BRAVE. Jake is BRAVE. (Too much to write about their talent.)
2. Hathaway's no longer typecast.
3. Michelle (Alma) is a young Meryl -- talented, effortless.
4. They've all forever changed de homo kinda image, impactin' pop culture.

What does de movie seek to achieve (motive, objective, agenda)? Am not certain. It's a heavyweight though.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T10:20:00.000-05:00

Thanksgivin' holidays are here again. They're a nice likkle nudge to remind us to thank God for his mercies unto us. After seein' de way a J'can political 'supporter' injured a J'can TV reporter (in his eye, no less, callin' de reporter a "Labourite"), am acknowledgin' that mi country still has a far way to go, but am still thankful for God's grace to us -- to all de world, as a serious comedian put it: "God bless the world." May this holiday find you happy thru bein' thankful to God. God bless Jamaica, de Caribbean. God bless Africa. God bless America (North & South) -- "God bless the world." Thank you, God, for all your blessings to us, an' above all, thank God for Jesus!

Lord, let me not assess de 'fairness' of de world by lookin' for greater sorrow in others than in myself -- rather, let me see 'fairness' in peace and love. Let me observe evil and hate as unfair, an' bein' moved by God's holy spirit, let me always oppose those.

Poem-pourri

2007-11-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

Whose woods these are, I think I know:
Jabberwock
Lived in a pretty how town,
Up so floating many bells down
The still lake of Semmerwater
Under the still skies.

With no surprise to any happy flower
A dainty foot donkey that I ride
beheads it, in accidental power.
The blonde Assassin passes on
Up in de hills, where the streams are cool
An mullet and janga swim in de pool,
So rested he, by the Tumtum tree.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near,
I wish you were here, dear
I wish you were here
I wish you sat on the sofa and I sat near
On the chair
The handkerchief could be yours, mine the tear
Quoth the raven, Nevermore.

If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
Maybe it sags like a heavy load
Or does it explode?
Upon a midnight dreary, woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep.

Can't Be Ungrateful to God

2007-11-07T14:10:00.000-05:00

We can't be ungrateful to God, coulda never ever be ungrateful to God.

A pet peeve of mine has always been de annoyin' questions of friends & relatives who constantly asked my husband an' me about our family plannin'. Sounds intrusive? That's what it was when they'd ask, "So what yu waitin' for? When yu goin' to have another baby?"

We sometimes had to snap at people or otherwise be a bit harsh to get them to stop de inquisition. They didn't understand. Then we'd prob'ly feel crummy for havin' shut down folk who meant no harm.

Anyway, God is good, great, and in His generous divinity, a few months ago, He answered de many late-night prayers of my husband an' me. Thanks be to God for our baby.

(It's been a lengthy recovery that included many changes for us, including relocation, an' ah wasn't keen on postin' endless complaints, so ah kept quiet on de topic. However, this experience -- this gift -- is too precious to go undocumented. Especially considerin' our recent escapades of suitin' him up like Santa, an' like a Teletubby. It's been joyous, so ah sharin'.)

Anyway, back to baby. I'm always tellin' him how delicious he is, an' mi top 3 reasons for not gobblin' him up:
3. His dad & his brother would B sad.
2. Ah luv him 2 much.
1. Ah got no hot sauce:)

God is good.

Another Year wid mi Fierce Brosnan

2007-10-24T09:47:00.000-05:00

At first glance, mi cousin said, "Don't him remind yu a 'Remintan' Steele?"

I said, "Hmm, not really. Pierce more mawga." (Like mi know Pierce!)

Donkey years later, U're still Fierce, mi bootleg Pierce. (De name's Bond, Jamrock Bond)

Hi, darlin' dear, sweetie pie, pineapple (song)

Here's lookin' forward to 15 more, if God allows.

Environment & U

2007-10-16T17:38:00.000-05:00

Leon just blogged about global warming, so bein' friendly to de environment, here's mi 2 cents:
We all luv de yummy food that some restaurants sell, but avoid de styrofoam if yu can. It contains dioxins (which are known carcinogens). Consider it, "Wouldja like dioxins wit dat?" De environment can't break down styrofoam into earth-friendly fossil, so it's not doin' Mother Earth any favours either. Dioxins especially seep into fatty food, so if you buy soup or porridge or gravy-laden meals in styrofoam, U just got a free order of dioxins -- does it go well with your oxtail and rice & peas? Not really ... not at all.

"Secrets" of Life

2007-10-05T09:07:00.000-05:00

In listenin' to de gospel station, ah heard de followin' simple yet profound statement: "Your Dearest Wish Is the Flip-side of Your Worst Fear." (That entire series is aimed at helpin' us to fulfill life's purpose, to glorify God.)

Examples:
If your dearest wish is wealth, your worst fear is poverty. Life lesson: temperance
If your worst fear is rejection, your dearest wish is acceptance. Life lesson: self-acceptance.
If your worst fear is starvation, yu too greedy:)

Seventies -- The End

2007-10-02T08:30:00.000-05:00

I saw Pete for the first time when I was introduced to Auntie Leigh. He was a confused 19 year old surreptitiously trying to engage a (basic-school-level) 3-year-old child in continuous conversation. All I recall of that was that I liked his bright-red track top so much that he let me try it on and wear it, sleeves drooping way beyond my arms. (Unlike Fawn, who proclaimed to every earthly molecule the injustice of losing her fabulous high school popularity, and having to get her GCE and JSC passes through evening classes because of pregnancy by Pete; he kept his woes to himself. She felt her family had rejected her in favour of her own child. No one knew Pete's perceptions of his family's reaction.)

I next encountered Pete when I went to Auntie Leigh's a year or two later to meet and spend time with my father. I heard music, and peering into Auntie Leigh's dimly-lit family room, I saw Pete sitting at the piano. "Hullo," he said. I went over to him, and he patted the bench for me to sit beside him. I presumed he was waiting for his own dad. He was his quiet self, not clumsily constructing conversation with a kindergartener. His helper stood by the door, keenly watching us for a moment, then she shrugged and left. He closed the door. "Tell me a song to play," he said. And soon he was pounding out Stevie Wonder's then current album at my request, while I danced around the room. He stood and danced while he played, rocking and bopping his head. We both bellowed songs, me mutilating the lyrics confidently. Auntie Leigh arrived and called a jarring halt to our fun. She asked what the noise was in aid of, she asked if I'd gotten anything to eat, she said she was telling him for the hundredth time to cut his hair. Then he pushed her out and locked the door. He took a rubber band from a desk drawer, and pulled his hair back into an afro-puff "ponytail."
Behind the mess of hair, his forehead was a map of scars.
"That's why yu won't cut yu hair?" I asked.
"No," he said matter-of-factly, "Ah just don't want mi hair to hurt or bleed."
"Oh," I answered, and tried to process that. My grammy had cut my hair the summer before, because it was thick and time-consuming for her to wash it and detangle it. But my hair hadn't hurt or bled. It had all just looked dead on the floor, cut off from its life source. I thought maybe that's what he meant by hurt. "I kinda understand," I said.
Then we went to the window and looked at daylight through a telescope. I told him I liked looking through things, and he lit up. "Ah have something for yu!" he gushed, "I'm so forgetful."
"Is a Viewmaster?!" I guessed.
"No, this." And he handed me a knapsack with a little bright-red tracksuit. "Put it on," he said. "I'm goin' to put on mine that you liked." I was thrilled.
His helper followed him back into the room after he'd changed. He shooed her away, and as soon as her footsteps faded into the kitchen, he hoisted me through the window. In matching tracksuits we ran 'round the corner, down Stanton Terrace, and were soon tearing across Lady Musgrave road to screeching tyres and screaming horns.
"We look like twins," he said, looking at our identical attire. "People must be wondering if we're twins." I smiled at that. "Yup," I agreed; I didn't mind having a twin who could dance like Michael jackson, and he could.
His dad's car rounded us up, and took us back to Auntie Leigh, who announced that he was endangering me, and that she was sending me home for my own safety. He argued; he beat his head against the grill until his forehead bled. His father yanked him away from the verandah and dragged him inside, while neighbours gawked. Auntie Leigh's relative was a doctor who lived a few houses away. Discreetly, he tended Pete, and whispered about Pete's needing to return to England, and oh, what embarrassment, with those gossips outside feigning concern then calling Pete "Mad-eeks" behind his back.
I told Auntie Leigh I couldn't leave yet, that I had to meet my father, that I had to spend even a little time with my father.
"Then who yu think yu spend de whole day wid?" she asked in her flat Chiney voice.
!!

Seventies

2007-09-29T20:53:00.000-05:00

She started with his cousin.

He and his cousin shared a birthday, so logically they shared a sweet sixteen party. Unlike him, the cousin wasn't touted to have a future-million-dollar brilliance. The cousins looked astonishingly alike. However, where his cousin sported his looks like an effortlessly suave suit, Pete was awkward wearing his looks like super-starchy clothes. But. Pete's Chiney mother was proud of her protege who'd always been an undeniably gifted child. His father, a stern black man, was conspicuously quiet on the topic of his bright son.

Fifteen-year-old Fawn flirted her best PamGrier-esque hairdo to the birthday party, and gave herself the gift of Pete, throwing the cousin back into the sea -- she really wasn't fond of small-fry prospects.

Pete was Fawn's new "settle." Problem was, unlike the cousin, Pete could be counted on to do things. Things like wearing a Manley-type bush jacket and flood-water-high gaberdine pants with buckle shoes outshone only by his greased-flat hair, to a Plus-X bash where everyone else wore bell-bottoms, trendy platform shoes, and fluffy afro. Still, she took his Sunday-best disco gear in stride; after all, in any number of years, when he was more cashy than all the crowd, who'd get the last laugh? Besides, she was trying to rekindle the cousin's interest on the side.

Pete's family was unaware of what was happening. Only the helper heard the goings-on in the heretofore virginal Pete's room whenever his parents were out. And the helper knew better than to be the bearer of bad news to her employers. She did however tell Fawn of Pete's illness that had started when his closest brother drowned a few years before. Pete was fine as long as he took his meds, she said, but Fawn shouldn't toy with his emotions. "Him can't tek it," the helper told her, "Him can't tek it." The cousin confirmed the helper's assertion.

Fawn was abased.

But worse, Fawn was pregnant.

Women -- Especially over 30

2007-09-25T18:37:00.000-05:00

Planning on having a baby? Especially, if it's your first:
1. Create a birth plan (e.g., If U don't want students participating in your delivery, say so!)
2. Grill your doctor like a cheese sandwich to see which MD is most likely to stick to de plan.
3. Avoid their usual moneymaking tricks: e.g., they request extended foetal monitoring -- try to send you to a delivery room early -- request last-minute ultrasounds: all of that "just because."
4. They make way more $ from caesarean surgery (affectionately called c-sections, like Condoleeza's now affectionately called 'Condi' -- don't de media know how to sell stuff!) Vaginal delivery means less $ money to them. More money is often their prime objective.
5. Epidurals (especially catheter as opposed to injection) can immobilize and disorient you at a time when you NEED to be alert, and make it difficult to push -- then what? Caesarean section!
6. Do you want to feel old, depressed, violated, and generally unhealthy? If yes, disregard my warning. If no, beware, beware, beware, beware.
Surgery & anaesthesia are no walk in the park. This is serious.

Hail to Everybody

2007-09-21T12:59:00.000-05:00

Hail to all of you bloggers. Hope you're all doing fine, as I am at this point. Thank God.

So many changes -- blogger married to google now!

Hope you all havin' a ball. Piggy luvs ya!

Election?

2007-01-10T15:47:00.000-05:00

J'can media seem to be hintin' that election might happen early this year -- possibly before Cricket. Hmm, could it be, could it be, could it be so? Commissioner said it's likely to be quite violent -- don't doubt him -- police he oversees statin' figures of about 40 murders so far. Bruce (opposition) seems kinda silent right now, Portia's side (gov't) currently somewhat loud, so there might be some substance to de speculation, but could it be, could it be, could it be so?

Merry Christmas Everybody!

2006-12-22T12:55:00.000-05:00

Happy, jolly, yummy time of the year --

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to everybody who reads this!

Bye, Neville

2006-12-21T17:22:00.000-05:00

J.A. lost a media icon, family man, and pretty nice guy: Neville Willoughby. Years ago, "It's the Evening People Show with Neville --" No more. Observer said it was a road accident somewhere off Farewell Ave. (That road now means suppem more than walkin' mi cousin there in de '80s to visit mi cousin's best pal, Selema.) Strange, de name of that road, & de accident that will now make it memorable for so many. Rough holiday this for de Willoughbys. Farewell, Neville.

Drive safely, everybody. It's nuts on de road, nuts in de parkin' lots at de malls -- everywhere. Let's all drive safely.

The Pursuit of Happyness

2006-12-18T18:17:00.000-05:00

It's a pleasure to see a father showing his son a real-life example of the struggle to better himself and to be a buffer from life's harsh realities. His son will recognize the priceless benefits of that when he grows up & remembers what his dad went through." -- A review of Will Smith's new movie: The Pursuit of Happyness

Watch it
Watch it
Watch it
Watch it

It's more than worth de ticket-price.

De Carol that Brought de Pork Some Christmas

2006-12-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

Here's Your "STUPID" Sign! (Bill Engvall, Chorus sung to"Jingle Bells")

I took my son to the mall the other day to see Santa Claus
The woman in line behind me says, "Hey is that Santa Claus up there"?
I said "no ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double. Here's your sign!"
The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door
As I was walking out the store a man stopped me and said
"Hey, are you going to hang that on your door?" I said:
"No sir, it's a Christmas toilet seat cover, got the idea from Martha Stewart"
(Chorus) Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your STUPID sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your STUPID sign -- Oh!
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your STUPID sign
You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your STUPID sign

I hung the little Christmas lights on my house, the ones that blink on & off
My neighbour comes over and says
"Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that?"
I said "I've got my son inside plugging and unplugging it,
-- plugging and unplugging it. Here's your sign!"
I took my family to buy a Christmas tree the other night
When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says
"Hey, y'all here to buy a Christmas tree?" I said,
"No sir, my son needs to go to the bathroom and these trees looked really inviting. Here's your sign!" (rep. Chorus)
Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time

And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store the other day
And I heard a woman ask the clerk
"Do you know what time Midnight Mass starts on Christmas Eve?"
And in the holiday spririt I walked over and said "Here's your sign!"
(She earned it on her own!) Happy holidays everybody!

Maybe Beta's not Better

2006-12-13T16:58:00.000-05:00

What's up today?! Am findin' it dang near impossible to comment on blogs like Crankputz', Island Girl -- all de beta type blogs. We'll see . . .

Quick Review

2006-12-11T18:38:00.000-05:00

This year's effort was nice -- more cooperation & participation this time (fewer self-proclaimed Jordans & more Pippens). Anyway, even as hubby geared up engineerin' early on, he pondered this year's music mix, but turns out we had energetic variety an' some blessed voices ministerin' to us all. What a praise & worship time! All praise & thanks to God. As de soloist sang: Whatsoever things are Godly, think on these things.

5 Things

2006-12-07T19:05:00.000-05:00

OK, so Stunner of de irie island photos has tagged me wid de "5 Things" meme, and am in an unusually "postly" mood right this minute, so here goes:
Here are 5 things U didn't know about me, de Melody Piggy Moppet:

-- Am compulsively private, but find that it makes people more likely to pry and be curious than they would be with someone who's less private and more willin' to share -- go figure.

-- Am not a fan o' gossip, & therefore have indulged in that extremely infrequently -- only when ah got ticked off at people pryin' an' decide to turn de tables on dem. Have found that many people luv gossip, an' therefore ah don't trust dem an' ah feel comfortable havin' very few friends.

-- Am not de gregarious type. Same way mi stay pon de blog until mi get accustomed to a blogger: am most likely to blog an' back off when ah meet blogs, thus givin' de other blogger a chance to reciprocate (which is kinda de only way for dem to quietly express, "Yeah, mi waan blog wid yu," or "No, mi naw really feel your blog perspectives.") It's a simple analogy to mi everyday approach to social life. Most 'fun time' interaction is wid mi husband & child -- am devoted to them. Want to always be there for them no matter what.

-- Have always been seriously attracted to mi husband (mutual attraction -- God is good). Anyway, he's aware of this and sometimes winks at me in a very knowing way in de midst of goin' about mundane things (while he's bucklin' his belt as he gets dressed for work, or even while we're in traffic waitin' for de light to change). This amuses him, 'cause am essentially a shy person, so de effect of this always momentarily "sends" me a bit.

-- Am admittedly somewhat old fashioned -- wha yu expect, mi grow wid mi granny! So much so, that de difference between casual & formal is ponytail or bun -- or maybe blue jeans versus black jeans. Of course, bein' old fashioned and excessively domestic doesn't mean not having aspirations -- ah do often consider goin' back to school for a doctorate (nutten to do wid mi journalism or business studies, a doctorate in suppem totally different that ah won't write on de blog right now.)

Awright, Stunner, that's it. Shared as much as ah could in that 5 things topic. Now, Jdid, U've been tagged.

Not Quite Yet

2006-12-07T17:28:00.000-05:00

In your mid-30s, people at church might start seein' U as a likely candidate to help counsel in women's ministry, so they nice U up for de women's retreat -- U can give good advice to younger sisters (late teens and twenties, who are single or just married). Not necessarily advisable.
What I've noticed:
* Some think because they're more experienced they know more about every-ting than U do. How can U help "to call any play," when they've been playin' de field an' sure they know de 'game' more than U?
* These retreats can seem like an unpleasant juvenile slumber party when U check de ratio of "younger" vs. "older."
* No matter how other counselors warn U, an' U research in advance an' feel sure de "younger" can't take U aback wid "hardcore" topics, there are always some who try to discomfit U wid graphic questions about de church's views on this or that. Maintained mi composure an' offered de followin' advice on de topic of someone wantin' to re-ignite de marital flame by doin' rectal whatever: "U just married recently, U shouldn't need to 're-ignite' nutten already, if U want to do suppem nice & spicy for your hubby, cook him suppem wid pepper in it, no need to get drastic an' start ruinin' your personal plumbin' just because of any-ting U read, saw, or heard."
* Not sure if "older" seem condescendin' to de "younger" but some "younger" can seem condescendin' when U advisin' them. U print out all kinda info from de centre for disease control & various websites (from ob-gyn to pastoral counsel site) an' is like dem nuh appreciate none o' your efforts to arrive at de sessions prepared to help dem.
* Parentin' is seen as a task that some definitely not eager to embrace.
* Some younger ladies there are really nice. They worry about "simpler" matters, stuff we've prob'ly all contemplated at some time or other, an' can relate to. E.g., a young lady was worried some folks countin' de months to know if she conceived before or after de marriage. Was quite forthright wid all o' dem. Told her how ages ago some folks said ah was just rushin' to wed so that ah could have sex -- de snide unspoken part was: "And that is if you two aren't already fornicatin'." (Sometimes older brothers & sisters in Christ put pressure on younger ones or even de newly converted -- thru gossip, etc. -- without even noticin' how they alienate people.)
* Memorable: Sister "E" and her empathetic advice to a lonely sister, to whom she's prob'ly now a mentor in general. Sister "E" says without rancour that she waits on the Lord since all will be done in His own good time. Almost in her 60s, she's got more maternal instincts than many, and cares for likkle boys an' girls like they were her own. Her advisee let others in on their discussion, which was good, considerin' de closed door nature of most o' these sessions.
* Am not yet necessarily 'fittin' de role (to counsel an' minister) to many who need it.

There but tor the Grace of God . . .

2006-11-02T17:56:00.000-05:00

There's a woman who's been residing nearby my cousin in NY. She married a Floridian, who filed for her, so it's just a matter of time before her younger children (those still in J.A.) will migrate to live with her -- or with whomever.
She comes across as friendly and helpful, and might have no problems getting hired as a nanny, etc. When you first meet her, you'd most likely say to yourself, "She's so nice and pleasant," or as old-time people would say, "She have approach, eeh." Don't be fooled.
Her daughter who attends a traditional high school is on the verge of dropping out, and has twice attempted suicide. The woman was alerted of the situation, and has got sympathy from those around her. "What a wicked girl," she and they say. "Who goin' to look after her brothers an' sisters if she ever succeed?"
The woman confided to my cousin that she's heard that the girl's father has proven incestuous whenever he manages to show up to pay school fees and drop off maintenance money. (People residing on the same lane have seen and heard some of the antics in the overcrowded hut that is the child's home.) At least one of the other children's "fathers" has shown conspicuous interest in the girl -- if he hasn't struck by now. "That's why she want to tek off an' abandon the children," the woman complained. My cousin told her off, and hasn't seen her around since -- she fears my cousin might alert de gov't here. My cousin hardly knows de woman's proper nickname much less the woman's proper name.
Every time I hear of the hardships that people in squalid areas go through, it angers me. It angers me because it is so unnecessary. It angers me because there is always someone facilitating the oppression of precious children -- and every child is precious. When did people living in squalor cease being individual human beings and become only "they" and "them"? I say this all the time, and people might not understand how serious I am: It would be more merciful to execute them all if you as a government, as a "better-off" or a have, hate them so much that it doesn't pain you to see them being tortured, being killed slowly just one indignity at a time. If you must allow their spirits to be killed -- and this happens mostly before they're adults, then understand that you want heartless monsters around you and don't friggin' complain when dem come a yu blasted house come shot up yu bumboh!! Don't say you didn't do them anything. You did: you chose to look the other way. Imagine, some of the girl's teachers were among those "turning up nose" at the atrocity called a hairstyle that dysfunctional adults bestowed on the girl's head. (In hearing of so many similar situations, it seems the first thing the oppressors do is a hostile "cut and color" that leaves the young girls looking fit for nowhere other than a dancehall. Self-esteem gets cut along with the hair, self-consciousness creeps in, and what do some teachers do?? Look down on the student. Maybe 2 out of every 200 teachers might intervene and offer to help.)
I remember reading about the abuse in children's homes, and about how some children got there in the first place. A little boy's grandmother made money from having men violate him. His aunts had no problem with it. His mother -- a go-go in Kingston -- had been similarly abused and had started her dancing career at 13. The boy, much younger than that, had run away and was hustling in HWT, meeting men in the daytime by offering to wipe windshields and then selling himself to them for food and money after dark.
Someone said before, "You can tell a lot about a society by how it treats its children." (Suffering Haitian children are a prime example of that statement.) Are we satisfied with how J.A. treats its most vulnerable children?
Consider your life differently. Say you never had responsible parents -- say you barely knew who your parents were -- if at all you knew. Say you had no high school education. Say you had no choice in the matter of when, where, and how you gained sexual experience. Say you lived with broken people who didn't understand that exposing you (a small child) to pornographic material and graphic conversation is itself abuse. Say they were similarly broken and are driven (as they invariably compulsively are when they get no professional help, which most don't), and they need to get you out and about sexually as soon as possible to ensure that you don't deviate from the blood-thirsty mores (promiscuity, baby-fatherhood, teenage pregnancy, etc.). Say you survived by bathpan and standpipe, and could only dream of the luxury and dignity of a proper private toilet. Say you bounced from squatter land to squatter land and gunman-ridden yard to gunman-ridden yard. Say you knew the bitter indignity of night-time hunger merging into lunchtime hunger held captive in the aroma of classmates' lunches and determined to stay at school until the end of the schoolday -- as unreachable as day's end seemed. No, don't think we got all the places in high school because we were just brighter than "they" who live in "those communities" -- consider everything I've written so far. Say you managed to pass your exam for J.C. (as Lexus did), but couldn't enter the high-school because your single mother explained you were too poor to afford it (as his mother did). Wouldn't that have stomped on your aspirations -- on your spirit? Wouldn't you have had a tough time rebounding from the missed opportunities even as he rebounded? In all of this, say you knew what it was like to eke out a precarious existence on the extreme edges of society, how long could you hang on to your dignity -- to your sense of who you are as a human being? Say you had no memory of ever having been a child, but had always carried the overwhelming burden of your own care on your own little shoulders.
You grew up with adults who care about you. Many children grow up with con-people around them. I know. I've tried to help on several occasions, but found that people were using "de pickney dem" to con money out of the altruistic. Now, nobody can't tell me nutten -- helping one or two children with the guidance of my aunt is enough.
I would like my country to start seeing these children as people, and to treat them accordingly. Stop allowing them to be destroyed. It is wicked. It is heartless. And it is totally unnecessary.

This Noh Right

2006-10-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

What seemed most noteworthy to me today was a report that someone (possibly gov't worker) had leaked Golding's tax return to The Gleaner, ostensibly to inform the public, but most likely as payback for his exposure of the questionable contribution. Woulda blogged just about that, but then ah read this.
OK, so a 7-yr-old girl was raped by five 9-yr-old boys at a primary school (Dunrobin). Five boys admitted that they dragged her from the bathroom when she was there washing her hands, and took her to an abandoned building where the assault took place. NOT ONE OF THEM WAS PUNISHED. School officials then not only proceeded to hide it, but also started smearing the girl even further by implying that she's "mental." Then they further assert that she's in the wrong school, that she should be in a 'special' school.
No, brethren, somebody head woulda haffe roll.
Some study has been done by a clinical psychologist recently which allegedly showed that many J'cans have 'low emotional intelligence' & that this was why empathy was all but extinct in some circles. Mi noh know. Maybe him right. All me know, somebody head woulda haffe roll.

Bein' Joyous at Others' Good Fortune

2006-10-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

IMHO, this is generally not difficult: bein' joyous at others' good fortune. What if de person in question is Hitler Foley Amin? Understandably, mi opinion would change -- no joy for them. It's about justice & fairness. Ah found out someone recently tried to block mi blessings. They say "friendship" so easily, but feel no joy when their "friend" enjoys an achievement. Mi noh like smutty-mind people, yu know. Worse, de ally from church glosses over de smutty-mindedness by sayin, "It's just a Jamaican poor-people trait, a survival skill, so even after life improves the attitude still obtains." Whatever. Dem better don't come back come lean pon my fence, 'cause a macca dem woulda lean pon.

Worth Quotin'

2006-09-13T12:14:00.000-05:00

"The truth sets you free -- it kicks your ass first, but it sets you free."

Unfathomable

2006-09-06T17:58:00.000-05:00

"Don't come in with me, or we won't leave for the next 2 hours," mi husband says --and he's right, grocery stores (any store, really) just always kinda pulls me in. So as he bounds across de parkin' lot, an' disappears into de store, mi eyes quickly flash to de car-radio, flash back toward de store, an' there's you exitin' de store.
I'm astonished at how mi heart somersaults at the sight of you.
You're gorgeous. You have a model's marvelous bone structure. (Even as de summer departs, you could use a tan, but whatever.) You're very manly, but there's a sensitive air about you that could just melt a girl and then mutilate her if that air of sensitivity turned out to be a facade. I just can't stop starin' at you. You come closer to mi car, and I say to mi-self, "Self, you've seen him before," but I'm still starin' at your eyes, grabbin' this opportunity to fathom just what colour they actually are.
You realize that I'm starin' at you, and it seems you also realize just then that you're starin' at me -- that we're actually makin' eye contact. You smile an awkward likkle smile an' look away, feelin' de profundity of our mutual gaze, an' de incongruity of such a soft moment in a crowded, broad-daylight, supermarket parkin' lot. An instant later, you look at me again, still headin' in my direction, an' de silly, fleetin' awkwardness passes, an' wi both laugh a bit self-consciously.
I sigh, inhalin' de sight of you, de seductive height of you, de lingerin' smile that is de bright light of you.
You stop at mi car-door.
You open it, and look in.
"Yu noh see how mi head gone, Piggy?" you ask. "Mi a goh inna de store fi goh spend, but mi left mi wallet same place inna de pants wheh mi did wear goh work today. Yu ever see nutten soh? Eeh?"
"Yes," I answer, "I'd marry you again, and again, and a million times again in this lifetime -- an' not just because mi luv nyam weddin' cake eeda!"

On Doing What U Luv

2006-08-17T12:50:00.000-05:00

Years ago, ah worked in an environment where everyone was super-stressed. Coworkers cowered in de V.P.'s presence, because he was de one who reported bi-monthly departmental exam results. (Not every employee had to sit these, but 'Jr' underwriters, etc., had to.) Others worried about failing all de likkle exams up to de 'big exam', not getting their licences, and missing out on de positions that required Series 6, etc.. De company even had supposedly state-administered counseling exams that followed in-house/online training & texts for HR. Stress. De point is, after Piggy made de switch from that to other work that made mi happier (feelin' at times like ah was chickenin' out, mind U), ah found out that even people who R still there weren't/aren't happy in that career. Gotta earn that dough. (I'm not talkin' about bein' frustrated about some aspects, but enjoyin' de overall work. e.g., Mr. Pig walked away from music production, when he was younger because, as he put it, "Wrong time!" but he enjoyed every minute while he did it. No. I'm talkin' about actually hatin' what U do while U do it.) Ah guess de true test is this: If U won de lotto tomorrow, would U do any-ting even remotely resemblin' your present occupation? (After all, wealth is freedom--in so many ways.) But health is wealth (i.e. freedom), and U've got your health, so would U make de switch now?

P.S. In unrelated news, heard that Vaz Prep's founder passed away. Condolences. Had it been Mrs. Ulett, however, many J'cans woulda been weepin' & moanin'.

Must Add: Just found out that today is Kami's Birthday! Happy Birthday, Kami!

From Today's Sermon

2006-08-13T13:24:00.000-05:00

"Success has many fathers, but Failure is an orphan." (i.e. Everyone wants credit, but nobody wants blame.) Repentance requires acceptance of blame. Let the redeemed in the Lord say so. Have a blessed day.

Praise God!

2006-08-10T22:24:00.000-05:00

It's great to have some serious career advancement. God is good, great, almighty!

Prodigal Piggy

2006-08-08T15:15:00.000-05:00

That's how writing mi current post feels.
Having parked mi blog for over a year, writing on it again is a weird feeling. I'll let go of the Pig Latin that always graced every sentence on this blog. Why? Well, this blog continued to age even in my absence, though I left it on its own for so long. I've treated blogging just as inconsistently as I've treated my own dreams. Lord. Now, the blog's older and wiser, and so is the BlogPiggy. A year brings many experiences: some good--some difficult to get over. When I first started blogging, I really thought blogging came naturally to me--just dive right in! I thought I took to it like a fish to water--and what kinda crap is that analogy anyway? Fish don't take to water--water is all they'll ever know until they die--it's not like every fish starts off warming a bench at some Kinder-Prep, and then gets let go into the wild--into the ocean--at a certain age (maybe right before GSAT/Common Entrance), when the world celebrates how quickly every fish takes to its secondary environment. Reality check: waterless environments have never existed for living fish. ANYWAY, the point is, I blogged in all the ways a person shouldn't blog: I discussed my dearest prenatal plans in such detail that in any negative eventuality my disappointment could've only been as painfully detailed, had my entries continued as fervently as they'd started. On the blog, I harshly criticized what I perceived as my previous employers' unfairness, etc.. I wrote about a few of my relatives' private situations (commiserating, I thought), and refused to remove the posts, even when they became aware of it and objected. (Now, I realize that wasn't about me learning to assert myself to some relatives. That's me still being wrong, but when it done a'ready, it done a'ready.) I posted mi pic on the blog, causing an awkward situation. I then cast the blog away from me, not realizing that (for impulsive me) a blog is a boomerang--not even realizing that even then it's a boomerang that really means a lot to me. It 's a great way to celebrate what I've always appreciated, e.g., J'can poetry, like I initially planned to feature on it. Now, Miss Lou's gone, and the urge to Blog her a goodbye poem--led me to write on mi blog again--to be the stranger knocking maybe too softly on the door of his own house (which he up and left so long ago). Reading the blogs linked to mine feels like navigating an old neighborhood, and the other blogs linked to them are like new development (houses, centres, etc.) on once-familiar roads. I don't delude myself anymore that blogging comes naturally to me, and I don't delude myself that I'll "reopen" this blog and start blogging mi arse off again, but this blog has to have a post that thanks everyone who ever visited it and took the time and energy to care what Piggy felt or did at the time of any posting. Piggy's blog must also apologize for retreating into itself in rougher times. Thanks, everyone. Sorry I up and disappeared. I never said it then, but I'll always appreciate all of you for allowing me to get to know you and share your life for a while and for your getting to know me and sharing my life for a while--actually, despite my seemingly inexplicable absence, truth is, I've never felt the urge to take any of that for granted, or any of you for granted. Here's a proper goodbye: Best regards, everyone--you've all always been kind to a naive, bright-eyed, sometimes selfish, sometimes sometime-ish, hypersensitive, but always-affectionate-in-her-regard-of-you Piggy. (MB, Dr D, Scratchie, etc., welcomed me so warmly back then, that I'm 4ever glad ah ever started bloggin'.) Cheers and Ciao! I'm smiling. Why? I'm honourin' mi brief sojourn in interactive blogdom, but this blog's been closed so long that maybe nobody will ever read this post, and yet it still feels good to have written what's in mi heart. Kisses, all! Life, Love, and Happiness!!

Soul Song

2006-08-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

Miss Lou, I Love You.
Rest peacefully--yu conscience clean, an' yu heart clean too
You must have been one of the chosen few
Who
Could say true-true
That you did every-ting you were called to do
And more.
You did the dramatic cultural wordwork of one hundred or two
You were the only Mommy that many knew
Yet has Jamaica always given you your due?

Now some criticizin' even the relocation of [Mas Eric] 'Mr. Lou'

Any-how figget 'bout that!
Not every-ting good fe eat good fe chat!

Heart full, but no eye-water
Walk good, Jamaica's Most Honorable Daughter.

Goodbye, Pope John Paul II (1920-2005).

2005-04-02T20:08:00.000-05:00

(Piggy's Blog's still "parked" but must acknowledge today.)

Hail Mother Mary full of grace.
Hail the fruit of thy womb, Jesus Christ.

Gra sia plena, Maria,
Gratia plena
Maria, gratia plena
Ave, ave Dominus, Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu in Mulieribus, Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tui Jesus
Ave Maria

Bye, Pope, you were a blessing to an entire religion. You've done what's so hard--if not impossible--in a world that searches tirelessly for sensationalism, you've led a blameless life as far as men's eyes can see. Many have brought disgrace to Catholicism, but you've always held it high. Not even a bullet could shake your divine determination. Even "Fire 'Pon Rome" or Capleton songs that tried to decry your dedication to duty, found you holy, an' I'm that much more respectful ov your legacy today.
Notre Pere, qui est au cieux
Les trois--votre nom soit sanctifie.
Pardonnez nous nos peches.

It was in many ways wrong to sing songs that carelessly wished you ill--even if nobody really considered de lyrics back then. Now, I'm considerin'--but not too much Catholic guilt--just wishin' you a safe journey home.
We'll all miss a godly Polish man who never smeared de honour ov his papacy through all ov 27 years. Goodbye, Pope.

Da Boogie Down

2005-03-19T12:23:00.000-05:00

Mi Blog's still on an ever-so-long break from its interactive glory, but in da meantime an' in between time, here's some special 'K' for your listenin' pleasure!

KRS-One: False Pride (from Da Sneak Attack album)

Kris' Intro: Okay now, listen to this:

A Mystical Teacher sat by the seaside
It was about 5 o'clock cause we heard the free ride
Anyway, The Teacher was talking in stride
Sitting upon a rock that was quite wide
And warning against false pride
"Come to where I reside!" a woman cried
And The Teacher replied, "Do you serve your fish fried?"
"Yes," she replied, "with potato salad on the side."
And The Teacher would comply, so, "Where do you reside?"
She said, "Up on the hillside, it's not a far ride.
If you came to have dinner, I would be so gratified."
The Teacher replied, " It's six o'clock or seven o'clock, you decide."
She replied, "Seven o'clock, do you like stir-fried?"

She was mystified and felt so dignified
The Teacher was coming to the house where she resides
So she purified with pesticides
Called up her friends nationwide
Some of her friends were tongue-tied; they felt so glorified

She made steamed fish, baked fish, fish that was fried
Soup, steamed vegetables, potato salad on the side
You could smell the bread in the oven, far and wide
Natural juices and water purified
Organic fruits brought from the countryside
With silver forks and knives placed side by side
You could not be dissatisfied
Looking out the window staring at the mountainside
You would have died

At 6:59 she's swollen with pride
As the moment intensified,
There was a knock from outside
She opened the door, "The Teacher has arrived!"
But to her surprise, it was a bum who cried
"Please, I smelled the bread from outside!
One piece, please" and then she replied
"The Teacher is coming, He's soon to have arrived.
You're making me look bad, come on now, step aside!"
The bum then replied,"When I say I'm hungry I haven't lied.
Give me some of that chicken you just fried."
She replied, "Chicken? Fried?
No! That's for The Teacher, you're not purified"
Then she slammed the door and went back inside
She sat on the couch with the TV Guide.

She looked at the clock, it was 7:09,
then 7:30; He still hasn't arrived
Eight o'clock, she's on the downside
Nine o'clock, by now she's teary-eyed
She's pissed off and her anger multiplied
She cried, then fell asleep dissatisfied

Next day she woke up, and was preoccupied
With meeting The Mystical Teacher who lied
Where could He hide?
She ran down by the seaside
He was there teaching about false pride

"You lied!" she decried, "You lied!
You said you'd be there at seven o'clock, but you lied!"
He replied, "No I have not lied. I came at 6:59,
And you told me to move aside.
I asked for bread and the chicken that was fried
And you said that I wasn't purified."
Stupefied, she replied, "I wasn't notified!
I had no idea that you wuz da bum that cried!"
And The Teacher sighed, then He replied,
"This concludes our lesson on false pride!!"

Sunshine's Day

2005-03-04T03:04:00.000-05:00

Happy Birfday, Sunshine!

Sunny & Special
Unique
Natural woman
Sincere
Heartfelt
Inspirational
Nice person
Encouraging

As time goes by, we'll prob'ly be in touch re our literary dreams. (Although I'm yay north an' you're yay south, it'll still be a domestic call, so we won't have ta break our Piggy-banks when that time comes:) Enjoy your day, luv, an' many happy returns!

De Gender Gap

2005-02-23T01:28:00.000-05:00

Had a very informative conversation this afternoon. Mi uncle was tellin' mi about a coworker ov his (a J'can he met since migratin' to London), an' de coworker's controversial views. De guy is married, but still somewhat radical. He offered to introduce mi uncle to a young English-woman ov J'can parentage. He kept repeatin' to mi uncle how "nice" an' "good" de 28-year-old is. "She's a total lady, pure as her own birfday," he told mi uncle. Mi uncle thought that meant she's a virgin--not an appealin' thought to any man who's aged past de big 4-0. Mi uncle says he told de coworker, "I'm not a teenager; I'm about buyin' de orchard an' plantin' fruit, not pickin' cherries." De coworker quickly clarified that de lady's "seal was broken," (ah know, it's horrid an' chauvinistic!), but said that de woman's been celibate for about 8 years. "Yes, that would be safest, all considerin'," mi uncle said, but de coworker said, "No, mate, it's not just a question ov health an' safety." Then, he proceeded to explain how a woman's inward an' outward esteem drops just a bit more wif each new partner, an' how a man's inward an' outward esteem rises just that much wif each new partner he has. Mi uncle asked him if he missed de Women's Lib movement, but now mi uncle says to me, "That's still de world we live in, Mel. That's why a man should never take for granted when a woman sleeps wif him, 'cause by sleepin' wif him, she runs such a social risk coupled wif de regular risks. That's quite a bit ov emotion she's got in de balance." Then he explained to me why mi aunt's always been so stern an' strict. Turns out, way back when mi aunt was in high school, she an' a male neighbour were walkin' along Eastwood Park Road, when a motorist called out to her, "Hey, White Liver! When me can get my piece?" Those words started a lot ov snickerin' an' outright laughter at mi auntie's expense. De motorist didn't know mi auntie, an' still doesn't. They were complete strangers, but because her features fit some stereotype he has, he threw de slur at her. Mi auntie was very ashamed--a little before that, a relative ov hers had been assaulted, an' people had dismissed de assault wif de same kind ov slur. Mi auntie took de insult personally. She cut her hair to everyone's surprise, an' started wearin' very baggy clothes an' long skirts instead ov regular jeans. That didn't deter those who wanted to hold on to stereotypes, they just labeled her conservative appearance as "sneakin'," so that they could keep her in their narrow-minded view. She's always been very circumspect in her appearance an' her behaviour. She stayed in a rocky marriage for decades, just because she didn't want "talk" to go 'round if she moved on (talk about livin' your life for other people--wake up, woman!). Ah thought she was just too uptight; however, now ah understand why she always spoke so sternly to me, an' why she set me such (unrealistic?) boundaries. In her day, judgement fell hard on women--it still does in de curious customs ov some societies, as ah learnt from Sunshine's Blog. An' as tough as it is for men to be men, it still seems tougher for women to be women in many respects.

A Book from A Book-Sale

2005-02-21T22:17:00.000-05:00

Ah just started readin' an old book named "Please Love Me" by an author named Miller. It's de true story ov a beautiful Hollywood starlet, who unfortunately has a very Puritanical mother & an ice-cold father. De girl eventually gains modest fame (they didn't use her real name in de book), after bein' tossed about on de castin' couch, an' then bein' discovered as a beauty or a talent (introducin' de beautiful or talented, Miss County Farm!). However, she's so bitter about her own life from de very start (although on de surface she appears to have it all) that she tells a horrid lie on her 'best friend' an' gets de girl in serious trouble; she almost starts a forest fire; an' at de height ov her modelin' career, she still has no female friends because ov her suspicion that other women have an easier life than she's ever had. She's de "girl next door" all-American blonde wif social status an' de old-money to go wif it, but she envies her maid--a dirt-poor Black woman (de story's set in de 50s-60s)--because she thinks de black woman prob'ly has a more lovin' family than she's ever had. She joins de circus, then finally discovers Christianity. That's where we're all supposed to get sentimental an' cheer for her?! Ah haven't finished de book, because ah can't quite sympathize wif de woman's mean-ness. Her likkle superiority complex that makes her feel that other females should chase after her to be worthy ov her friendship, while she stands aside in judgement ov them an' ov all they do, an' tries to sniff out any cracks in their armour or weak spots in their personality, just makes her seem so hateful--'B-I-T-C,' might begin to describe her. Ah can understand that she internalizes some fings--introverts tend to be more outspoken when irritated, an' more contemplative otherwise--ah can relate to that--but her decision to busy herself behind de scenes, tellin' lies an' makin' so much malicious likkle mischief just doesn't sit well wif me. De author tries to paint her as a sympathetic heroine, a misunderstood Cinderella, but her joy at others' misfortune, her anger at others' good fortune, an' her inability to feel good about herself unless she's criticizin' or puttin' down another girl just doesn't endear her to de reader. I'm stuck wonderin' how someone who's blessed wif all de comforts ov upper-middle America could feel justified in begrudgin' those less fortunate, simply because her life wasn't perfectly perfect--an' she suspects de less fortunate might have de one fing that she really wants. Ah fink if de book teaches young girls anyfing, it teaches them what NOT to do, if they want love an' affection from de people around them. Anyway, havin' said that, I'm not yet at de point where I'd recommend de book.

SleePig

2005-02-20T17:31:00.000-05:00

Didn't get much sleep last night, so ah fell asleep durin' de service today--throughout de service. Embarrassin'--had to be nudged awake a few times, but still missed most ov it. Barely heard de Benediction, didn't know when collection was takin' place. (Ah was too sleepy to notice how sleepy ah was, before actual sleep kicked in.) I'm a loner in church as much as anyone can be a loner in any church--'loner' just goes against de nature ov fellowship, so maybe ah go against de nature ov fellowship--an' I'm not a part ov de women's ministry. (Have ah ever mentioned that ah have poor social skills, an' am too shy in person to project de confidence that builds a lot ov friendships?) Not bein' a part ov that ministry means I'm on de outside ov it in every practical sense. Anyway, one ov de ministry's lively personalities decided to minister to mi for all ov 2 minutes.
She: What happened today?
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: Oh, you felt ill.
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: The message was so vital--you couldn't just fall asleep; you must've felt ill.
Piggy: Actually, Sister (X), ah fell asleep.
She: Sister (Y) did a very good creative-dance performance. Surely, you didn't miss that, or were you still not well at that point?
Piggy: (Tryin' ta recall de performance--Sister (Y) has a thick, voluptuous figure that had set all de Brothers starin' at her in her leotards an' wispy tutu, as she'd approached de pew to explain de relevance ov her dance to her singles' ministry. Mr. Pig had nudged mi awake when Deacon called up de Sister to do her dance, but I'd fallen asleep again immediately.)
She: (quick embrace) Not to worry, dear. Just feel better soon, okay?
Piggy: (woulda returned embrace, but embrace done a'ready) Okay.
From what ah remember ov de sermon, Reverend was talkin' about de disciples, an' de importance ov wisely choosin' our company. He started off by readin' from Isaiah 3, then from Matthew 10, then somewhere else in de Old Testament, Luke? Then some-fing, an' then some-fing. What can ah say? Choose your company--that's what ah remember--de service went over mi head this week. Hush.

Luv 4 Miss Lou

2005-02-19T01:53:00.000-05:00

Bloggers, this is a picture ov Miss Lou. Mi Grandma is still at de top ov mi female luv list, but Miss Lou an' mi English teacher from Wolmer's are two women whom ah also luv an' respect--Barbara Gloudon's prob'ly still another, but that's a whole 'nother Blog. Anyway, ah luv Miss Lou for many reasons. She's always been wise enough to value de culture ov her nation. Some folk never learn how to value their own, so it was a great lesson ah learnt as a child an' even now from Miss Lou. Mi earliest memories involved watchin' de end ov her Ring Ding career, an' it would've been so much nicer to have seen her throughout her Ring Ding TV career, but I'm still grateful that ah saw any ov it--even if it was de very end. She's always celebrated de J'can patois dialect in poetry an' prose, when others sneered at their own dialect in JA--what's even more remarkable is that she excelled an' still excels at it, havin' taken it to de level ov an art-form. She's quite elderly now, an' unfortunately a widow as ov a few years ago. She never got rich from her vast volume ov work, but she didn't do any ov it for de luv ov money, she did it for de luv ov people an' de preservation ov their/her culture, so she deserves to be happy. If she ever reads this Blog, ah want her to know that ah luv her too. I'll post a few ov her poems every now an' then, so we can enjoy her talent on de Blog. Have a nice weekend!

Dinner This Evenin'

2005-02-18T02:53:00.000-05:00

This evenin', we went to dinner wif a couple we met at a "Pilgrim's play" that was put on by Children's Workshop--it seemed we had a bit in common. There was such a pleasant camaraderie between us that we exchanged numbers when de play was over. (It was an okay likkle play, some kids forgot their lines--one ov them got stage-fright an' burst into tears an' his mother rushed to de platform, yellin', "Focus, Frankie! Focus!" Didn't know whether to laugh or cry along wif him. De mother wants to turn him inna de next Wesley Snipes, an' de kid prob'ly just wants to be sittin' in de audience eatin' poporn.) Anyway, we've developed some kinda friendship. We went to a few poetry-SLAMs together--turns out de husband luvs poetry as much as De Piggy does--an' de wife an' I've gone to two can-can sales together. They're a bit older than we are, an' de husband's a fan ov vintage reggae, soh when he found out that Mr. Pig used to play-out, he came over to drink some punch-a-creme (shout-outs to Sunshine!) an' listen to some music wif Mr. Pig for de New Year's. They've been married for 8 years, an' have 2 kids. This evenin' we went wif them to one ov mi favourite places, a small fusion restaurant (American, Asian, Italian, unfortunately no Caribbean), where mi favourite waiter works. He's mi fave 'cause he's legitimately gay--maybe homosexual, but no, that's not it--he's got real gaiety, a very upbeat, peppy personality wif a zest for life that just makes yu live a likkle bit harder when he's around. (He luvs mi clothes, an' ah luv his personality, so we get on.) Anyway, we were seated, an' mi fave waiter brought us decaf, biscotti, an' water, while we went over de menu like we weren't goin' to order de same shrimpy chicken & pasta wif garden salad that we always got. There's a tense silence, 'cause de other couple is very tight-lipped tonight. We don't know why, since this dinner date was their idea in de first place. What are they mad about? Mr. Pig an' I exchange confused glances. "What's de matta, people?" Mr. Pig pronounces de Black Uhuru intro like a joke, tryin' to break de ice an' get them to open up. They barely mumble nothing. Mr. Pig looks at me like, "WTF?" Then they decide to get steak--well done--an' tense silence continues, except for oldies playin' quietly. Now there's mi fave waiter singin' "Everlastin' Love" an' breakin' up de uneasy silence, while skillfully servin' us our meal wif his usual flair. De food is great, an' hungry as ever, ah dive in. THEN, they want to talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. And they want undivided attention. "This is it for our marriage," he announces. "Nobody's fault, but this is it." We look blankly at him. WTF?
"It's over," says de wife. "It done! Totally done."
That's why they suggested we go to dinner together this evenin'? WTF?
Now, there's de way to disturb a good meal. Then Mr. Pig goes into fix-it mode, an' starts suggestin' counselors an' such, but they say they don't want any counselor, "It's just over." Now, this ticks off Mr. Pig. He doesn't believe in people discussin' problems that they don't want to solve. "Since yu don't want no counselor, then don't bother bring it up," he says. "Let's just enjoy our money's worth of a good meal and go home." But no. They want to vent. And vent. Even though de husband said it's nobody's fault, they're suddenly goin' on about who said what an' who did what when where. They get a bit heated, an' distract de couple at de next table. I'm still eatin', swallowin' up de evenin', can't wait to go pick up de Piglet an' reach back home. Fave-waiter rushes over before their squabble gets more noticeable, an' seein' that their steak's been ignored, he coaxes them wif delicious dessert on de dumbwaiter. De woman looks close to tears. She doesn't want any pistachio creme pie. De man's face is set like, "Whatever!" I'm tryin' to be tactful an' not upset her any more than she already is, but not Mr. Pig. "(Waiter), split this down de middle," he says. "An' bring 2 doggy bag, please." Fave waiter relaxes a bit, he knows us--though he doesn't know de other couple--an' he trusts us not to let anyfing escalate. De husband isn't at all pleased wif Mr. Pig's indifference, but bein' indifferent, Mr. Pig don't care. Soon, we're all paid up--fave waiter is tipped even better than usual--an' we're goin' into our car, as they go into theirs--few strained partin' words said, as we leave. "We'll call you guys later," de husband tells us, an' they're drivin' off. We can hardly wait to get home, but instead ov comin' straight home, we stop at de park, sit on a bench lookin' at de frozen stream, an' go over what just happened. "Don't them did look happy?" Mr. Pig asks, an' I'm like, "Yep, but who really knows?" Evidently, they weren't happy--they aren't right now--but they gave a good impression ov happiness. "We can't mek that happen to we," Mr. Pig says, an' de thought ov it is so scary that we snuggle up on de bench for a good 20 minutes just starin' at de pond whose ducks are nowhere to be seen, before wi goh pick up de Piglet, an' drive come home. I'm still like, "WTF?"

AI Rant

2005-02-17T01:20:00.000-05:00

Am somewhat disappointed wif American Idol tonight. One ov mi favourites (Ross, de redhead who sang Frank Sinatra songs at de Las Vegas audition) got sent home last night, an' two ov mi other favourites got sent home tonight. De guy had a quirky, spiky-blond look, an' Simon's funny about that kinda fing, so even though de guy was VERY talented ah kinda understood, but Jackie de 16-yr-old wif de mellow voice who seemed like a shoo-in got sent home. Maybe it was because she said she'd re-enter if she got sent home that made them believe it was okay to eliminate her now. I'm not pleased. No, they don't give a hoot. Ah vowed last year that ah don't like American Idol any more, after mi favourite got eliminated early out, an' ah was sure that ah didn't care about de show. Ah kept tellin' people that, but after seein' this season's auditions, it sucked me in again, only to piss mi off. It's not worth de anger, but de show is so unfair. They sent home de redhead 'cause he made de mistake ov scattin' when he should've been beltin' out lyrics at his last audition. That guy wanted it SO badly, an' he would've been good too, so he deserved to get it, but they rejected him--after they'd already chosen Marlea, de girl who rejected THEM! This is what J'can people woulda call "wanty-wanty can't get it, but getty-getty don't want it!" Sux, sux, sux, sux!

Make A Piggy

2005-02-16T02:54:00.000-05:00

Kami's good friend, Virgo, posted a "How To Make Me" chart that ah found quite interestin', so ah commented that I'd add such a chart to mi Blog, an' here's Da Piggy's version ov it (only de data, not de columns an' rows, 'cause ah don't know how to do that part):

How to make me:

1 part industrious
1 part (mad-scientist) creative
2 parts nutty an' impulsive (:^)
2 parts loyal an' honest

So, Bloggers, would ya like to say even one ov your own ingredients or how to make a 'you'?

Da Piggy

2005-02-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

Hi, Bloggers, here's a fuzzy picture ov Da Piggy. (Yu didn't fink I'd post a clear-as-day picture ov mi-self after cussin' out mi workplace an' callin' be bosses hemorroids, now did yu?) Anyway, yu never know who's readin' or where they hail from, so I'll do like Yammie did, an' say, "If you're readin' this, please write 'I read' in de comments, to let Da Piggy know that yu visited. Have a great day!

From Today's Sermon

2005-02-13T18:14:00.000-05:00

What Da Piggy took from today's sermon:
God wouldn't lead us to it, without leadin' us through it, so whenever life gets really challengin', take comfort in de knowledge that all is never lost an' you can never be lost wif God, because he'll lead you through de harsh times. Like de song says, "There's victory in Jesus."

Some Folk

2005-02-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

Some folk are experts at gettin' on people's last nerves--annoyin'! Today, de traffic lights weren't workin' at de merge lane ov de busy intersection near de mall. One would fink that this means motorists should drive extra carefully, right? Nope! Not so for everybody. De girl drivin' de car in front ov us was busy listenin' to music, an' decided that not only should she dance, but her car should dance as well--even at a broken traffic light!! If that's not somebody beggin' to be rear-ended, then ah don't know what is. She can see only about 2 car lengths along de road to her left, an' she's in de right-turn lane intendin' to turn right. She'll have to yield if cars race from behind de steep corner on her left, rushin' to de mall. Precarious position indeed when there are no traffic signals to regulate it, yet she's makin' her car dance. Every time she releases her brakes, it looks like she's about to dash out to try an' catch a quick merge into de flow ov traffic. Alas, no, she isn't doin' that! She's just stompin' on de brake an' lettin' it go in time to de music. I'll admit, we're all likely to have done that immature crap at some point or other--maybe as sophomores--but not as MATURE adults, an' she looks like a grown woman. Her car sounds like a mobile dance-hall--which is fine, except she's distracted as heck, an' still she's actin' up at de broken stop-light, without mergin' into traffic. De drivers behind me don't know what's goin' on wif her, 'cause they can't see over de top ov mi vehicle, an' there's no room to go 'round her, so they're honkin' their horns 'til she finally merges into traffic. It really takes ALL kinds! Have a good weekend!

Great Voice

2005-02-10T02:32:00.000-05:00

If William Shatner or his vocal twin, Regis, spoke "normally," would anyone impersonate either ov them? And on Idol, only de best match-up ov voice an' personality usually gets a chance. So d'you notice how some people's voice just seems to fit them to a tee, an' other people's voice seems to have been stolen from someone else's frame, MIKE TYSON!! Sorry for that Tourette's moment, but let's continue. Sometimes de most seemingly mismatched voice can be a blessin'; can yu imagine Q-Tip bein' so distinctive without that smooth, almost effeminate voice checkin' da rhyme? Whenever Mr. Pig an' I've got to be apart for any span ov time, short or long, his voice is always what gets me goin' as soon as ah see him again. Once he was waitin' to pick me up at de airport, an' ah was tryin' to find him in de post-customs confusion. Ah was scannin', lookin' for his face in de crowd, when a kid shouted above de noise to ask mi de time, an' as soon as ah shouted above de noise an' answered, ah heard that vibrant voice that ah love so much callin', "Piggy, a you that? Mi hear yu, but mi can't find yu." We soon found our way through de crowd an' de high heaps ov bag an' pan bein' rolled about, but that's still one ov de sweetest sounds I've ever heard in mi life. Ah can't describe his voice, it's not really a husky tenor, it just might be a livelier version ov that. When he talks, yu can always hear how ready he is to laugh or sing a song whose lyrics he mightn't even know--heaven help de song--but that's what makes it so hard to imagine his voice when I'm not hearin' it. When anyone asks what's mi favourite song, de memory ov him at de airport comes to mind before any song does. If Mr. Pig had a boomin' Lou-Rawls-Earl-Jones voice, maybe we wouldn't even be married--superficial as it sounds. After all, if Michael Jackson's voice came out every time Farrakhan opened his mouth, there might be no Nation. Voices are powerful, even at their weakest, wouldn't ya agree?

2 Qt!

2005-02-09T00:48:00.000-05:00

Hi, Bloggers, ah just read this cute little story an' it tickled me so much that I'm sharin' it wif everyone. Here it is:
An emergency delivery had to take place at a mother's home at the last minute. Due to a shortage of personnel and a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call, and the house was very, very dark. The paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight over her mommy so he could see while he delivered the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked, watching with wide eyes as her mother pushed and pushed until little Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted the infant by his little feet and slapped the baby on his bottom. Connor began to cry. Concerned that Katelyn might be upset at seeing her baby brother crying from being slapped, the paramedic gently turned his attention to Katelyn, thanked her for her help and asked her what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn looked firmly at her newborn brother and quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!"

Hard Not to Notice It

2005-02-08T01:15:00.000-05:00

De Reverend ov mi old church has been drivin' de latest model SUV ov a certain kind, an' has been sportin' ten-gallon hats like a black cowboy. That somewhat showy persona was but one ov de reasons we switched to a dif'rent church, shallow as it may seem--we decided to be non-denominational in findin' a church when we moved to our town. After settlin' into de new church, we saw de Rev when we went to de supermarket. He was walkin' into a nearby Radio Shack--still dressed like a three-piece-suit wearin' cowboy, an' Mr. Pig commented, "But wait, Piggy! Noh him a encourage everybody fe contribute an' sponsor him fellowship trip to JA, but look how him supe-up him wheels!" Ah didn't say much to that, but ah wondered about it, tryin' to view that Rev as an 'original' in de way ov Bing Crosby, Bill Cosby, Slick Rick, Bob Dylan, Bette Davis, Stevie Wonder, J.R. an' Sue Ellen, Katharine Hepburn--even Flava Flav--people whose individuality just jumps out at ya an' legitimizes all they do--but it didn't work. De pastor don't rock such. In all his style an' fashion, maybe he's tryin' at individuality like de King ov Pop seems ta try unsuccessfully at Elvis' enigmatic persona, or like Elvis succeeded at Be-bop Rock'n'Roll's then-radical characters. ANYway, in de end, we decided that as far as Rev was concerned, we should ignore de Rolli on da arm, stop wonderin' if he's pourin' Chandon, an' not Hate on a brother 'cause he's got it goin' on. However, we moved on from that church anyway, after it came to light that its other Reverend was involved in de abuse ov a teenager whose parents understandably hid her away after that. At that point, we an' MANY members said, "This definitely isn't our church home!" Funny, it wasn't de Rev whose flashy fashion threw us, who ended up wif de legal an' religious problems; it was de other (overlooked) Rev. This evenin' we saw someone who looked like de flashy Rev, an' ov course Mr. Pig had a sour expression again--couldn't blame him, ah had de same expression too. De Bible does say, "Render your hearts and not your garments," or such, but it's hard not to notice certain heights ov flashiness, isn't it?

Happy Earthday, Mr. Marley!

2005-02-06T16:31:00.000-05:00

Kami says it's possible to write about Bob on his earthday without sounding off at his widow who now has so much conflict. Here's a try.

Ode to Bob, Owed to Bob

Bob, what would Jamaica be

If you were never born to we?

From Reggae to Dancehall, Deejay to Rap,

Jamaica woulda hardly deh 'pon de map!

What would Jamaica do were it not for you?

Win few Olympic race, then retreat into "A who?"

We all know, if you were never there,

We'd be ackee bidout saltfish, an' so-soh dry bulla bidout de pear.

Even now yu spirit chants in warm, vibesy tones

Singing, "Please don't yu rock my bones!"

But some still determined fe rock yu bones.

Them say it don't matter where yu bury

Because that can't change where yu did born,

But Jamaica fightin' to keep yu restin'

Forever within its arms.

We give thanks an' praise to Father God

For his blessed gift named Bob.

Happy Earth-strong, Bob!

A Rose Just For You . . . All!

2005-02-05T14:30:00.000-05:00

This is just to test de photo bucket that Kami told mi about. This flower is mi early Valentine's treat to all ov yu luvly Bloggers an' stalkers out there. Next, ah might just publish mi Granny--ah tried to publish her this mornin', but me an' Gramm' need to wheel an' come again. Have a nice weekend!

Ah Heard

2005-02-04T11:56:00.000-05:00

LL Cool J was on American Idol last night, and NOW ah really believe de 'L's in his name--he IS lovable. He actually brought out Simon's sensitive side, an' had Simon offerin' to hug rejected contestants. Who'da thunk it? However, when ah really consider LL's career, it just made sense. He was always more than just a pretty face. LL's wholesome, but still edgier than Will Smith--a tough balance to strike. (We could forgive him de "Pass da Ol' Gold" line in his comeback rap that said "Don't call it a comeback!" Also, we could forgive him de drug Kingpin role he played in "In Too Deep"--hey reality's reality.) He's remained true ta himself for da most part, even at his most mass appealin' (rememba EPMD, Jdid?)
LL is settin' an example for people ov all ages--which is so fragile, 'cause so many would want to adopt him as an ABSOLUTE role model, an' then get suicidal if LL falls from grace. Yeah, we gotta rememba that he's only human, but still de fact is, he seems like such a good person. On American Idol, he far exceeded everyone's expectations in de love that he showed EVERY contestant--good an' bad. He's a family man, an' a likeable individual, so ah just had to add him to mi Blog. True ta himself, he's showin' that it can be done.
Today, ah heard about a hurricane rippin' through Bermuda--rough enough to close down all but de most essential gov't services. De hope is that de hurricane's effects will be far less severe than we've been witnessin' in recent times in other places. Heard it's still pretty bad, an' ah gotta verify that. If 2005 isn't a wake-up call to almost every region of God's green earth, then people, I don't know what is! Have a great day!

Blog Test

2005-02-03T10:49:00.000-05:00

De previous was a Test Blog, but this is a test for Bloggers to check out their psych state. Answer de questions below, an' then interpret it wif de key below it. Try it, it'll be fun.

1. You're walkin' in de woods, wif whom are yu walkin'?
2. You see an animal, what kinda animal is it?
3. What do yu do wif/to de animal?
4. You see a house an' enter it, what's on de table in de house?
5. You step out & see a drinkin' goblet on de ground, what's it made ov?
6. Is it old/new--what do ya do wif de goblet?
7. You see a body ov water--puddle, pool, ocean, etc.--what is it?
8. What do yu do wif de body ov water.

This is supposed to give ya a glimpse ov yu own emotional predisposition.
1. De person yu walk wif, is de most important one to you.
2. De animal yu see represents your view ov yu fears.
3. How yu deal wif de animal is how yu deal wif yu fears.
4. What's on de table's what yu take from life--flowers/food=joy.
5. De goblet yu see is yu view ov what you're made ov.
6. How yu treat de goblet is how yu treat yourself.
7. De body ov water represents your sensuality.
8. How you indulge or refrain is how yu indulge or refrain in life.

What do ya fink? Does it reflect de real you?

Test Blog

2005-02-03T08:05:00.000-05:00

Will this post show or won't it? Don't know what happened to mi post yestry-day about LL Cool J, an' partly about de hurricane in Bermuda. If this post also disappears, then I'll know mi Blog's broken. :-( If it shows, then ah know mi Blog's okay. :-)

Shop Lock

2005-02-01T11:57:00.000-05:00

Last night a lady called in to Pastess' radio show, an' started discussin' her personal life. De male callers' outrage to her info prompted Da Piggy to write this version ov Elephant's "Bad Man" song:
Bad man don't bathe
Them deh boy noh have noh rag
Bad man a weak heart
Yet him deh a road a brag
Shotta clothes don't WASH
A dutty clothes them boy deh wear ...
This version ov de song is supposed to be de female's response to de scorn that some ov those so-called "gallis" like Ele display toward women. How can men who claim to be ladies' men, show such scorn for de female body?
The lady on Pastess made de mistake ov tellin' people that she 'helped herself' now an' then ( Doc called this "takin' bizniz in hand" or "holdin' a back" in his recent post about a public flasher. Anyway, de worst part ov it for de woman was when she said that she's 64 years old. Oh no! One popular caller, David, said that she's too old to be settin' that kinda example, an' he'd NEVER let that woman cook for him, "She's a dirty woman, I'd never eat from har!" Others hopped on his band-wagon; a few women even got in on de act. Pastess had shows about what should be de right age for people to throw in de sexual towel. On those shows, many people said there's no age limit for men, but that women should retire from sex before they reach 60. Pastess says that this just shows how narrow people's views are, an' that de best example de older woman coulda set for kids was to call in an' discuss frankly some details ov her personal life as she had done.
Pastess has a point. Ah saw a psych on TV once who had de same view. She said she grew up knowin' very little about adult issues an' was totally unprepared for ALL ov it. She was candid wif de young girls to whom she directed her speech, tellin' them that their Moms shoulda already told them all that they were hearin' that day. She said she knew that their Moms prob'ly had de same experiences, that she wasn't de only one who learnt de hard way that sex an' love are very separate for a vast number ov men, that a man's body an' a woman's body were wired so alike an' yet so differently, an' that she wasn't de only rocket scientist who thought that she was really dyin' when she first had an orgasm. She said too many women are ignorant ov how their parts work. Well, if de responses on Pastess are much to go by, she can add a lot ov J'can girls to her list ov de sexually ignorant, 'cause those callers were sure puttin' on a pious act last night!

De Piggy's Gettin' Thar

2005-01-31T11:22:00.000-05:00

Heard someone on de radio jokin' that yu know you're gettin' old, when de song yu hear as yu enter an elevator prompts yu to exclaim, "Yeah! That's de Jam right there!" I've had that happen to me--several times, it will when yu love instrumentals, guitar solos, an' Kenny Loggins (can yu say "Footloose"?). De problem isn't so much havin' yu favourites bein' old school, de problem is constantly criticizin' de new stuff by usin' old school to knock it down. Da Piggy does that all de time. Don't want to hear no 50 cents (he needs Kurtis Blow to teach him timin'), don't want to hear no Ludakris (he could stand to study under Slick Rick), don't want to hear no Kim (but Missy's cool, an' Pharrell's got great old school flavour), an' ah rooted for Nas instead ov Jay, only 'cause Nas has more old-school an' constructive rhymes in him IMHO. Yep, old school's got me. I'm still tickled at de memory ov mi 13-yr-old neighbour in JA tryin' ta decide between "de mawga one or de mampy one" every time JJ Fad was on TV--he loved 'em an' de Super-sonic song. When Jdid posted about Special Ed recently, an' also reminded me ov Grand Poo (all Nubians!), ah was in heaven that day. It just don't get better, but I'm still alive. That's how ah feel about it. Can you say HATER!? Ah confess. That's what mi old-school preference makes me--an' it's de same for Reggae to some degree. Ah hear Assassin an' them, an' ah say to mi-self, I'd rather hear Stitchie singin' "Lover Boy Sess" or Tiger singin' "Don is Don" or Major Mackerel singin' "Noh Rush De Don Ban'." Tullo' T, Courtney Melody, an' others who might still be around had their hey-day back then. Can't tell yu how ah got in trouble for singin' Ninja's "Dead B-mb- Clawt." Mi Grandma nearly collapsed when she caught mi. "That's NOT how I raised you! Don't you dare sing that disgustin' bizniz! Mel, you goh wash out yu mouth wid soap now!" (She an' I both LOVED Red Dragon's "Fresh" though.) On Disco 9000 mini-bus, I'd hear de "bad" songs again, an' start singin' them again. Mi aversion to much current "popular" music convinces me that mi time is about past. It must be some-fing that happens when you're older than 30; yu start lambastin' new stuff, in favour ov de old. (Yu still got some good years to go, Kami--enjoy them to de fullest!) So, I've officially entered de hip-hop "Hater" stage. If you're a head from de new school, an' yu Hate mi opinion, don't git mad, git money! Your stuff just might become great old school for de current generation--an', hey, smooch Da Piggy!

From De Service

2005-01-30T17:50:00.000-05:00

Here's what Da Piggy took from today's sermon:
Blasphemy against The Holy Spirit is de unpardonable sin, yet it seems like de easiest sin to do. Many don't recognize that it's often better to want some-fing yu don't have, than it is to be stuck wif some-fing that yu really don't want; and so when we're feelin' dissatisfied wif life, we might unwittingly lash out at God's divine plan or curse his intricate life-design because ov its applications to us. Let's be glad for all de gifts that God has given us today, an' say sorry for de times that we've been ungrateful or insulting ov his gifts. Let's have a thankful an' blessed week!

Waz REALLY Good?

2005-01-29T10:27:00.000-05:00

Bloggers, it seems everyfing's a health hazard these days. De basics that we took for granted even a few years ago (like pourin' quicksilver into dental cavities, or usin' carbs as de staple ov our diet) have suddenly become secret toxins. Women are told they shouldn't replace silver fillin's wif white ones within a month ov gettin' pregnant, because swallowin' even a minute amount ov that mercury could harm de baby in de womb--yet so many ov us walk around for years wif this stuff in our teeth! Then more an' more experts say that every-meal carbs are de leadin' cause ov diabesity (diabetes, hyper-tension, and obesity combined). But who doesn't love carbs in every meal? De secret is supposed to be organic legumes an' poultry or fish--oops! Doesn't sea pollution increase de mercury in fish & such? An' haven't grocery chickens been takin' de fowl pill long before small-chested women started takin' it? Never mind that we nuke our food wif microwave radiation, never mind that we use TEFLON-coated pots an' pans 'cause so many stores seem to avoid carryin' stainless steel but promote de heck out ov none-stick cookware instead. Technology's good, but wif each advancement, we seem to be paintin' ourselves more an' more into a corner--by de time we're TOTALLY tech-advanced, NOTHING might be safe for us. Computers give off radon, but they're in almost every job--are we paranoid yet? Oh, just in case we're not, smokin' isn't de only lung-foe (though MNCs promoted smokes to 5-yr-olds in under-developed countries in an effort to cash in on life-time chain-smokin'), hello, sugar-less gum! This is becomin' a bit much. Ah try to avoid gm food--no beef, to avoid steroids/hormones--like Tiger said, "We's big, we don't nyam pig"--but we all bite a pig in some form or other--maybe even in Cheez Trix. (An' btw, what de heck's de difference between processed cheese food or cheese product, an' regular cheese?) Fast food is slow poison, yet as de domestic (N. Amer.) market gets wiser to this, de restaurants just export de related diseases to less educated worlds (let's call those worlds "developin' countries"). Wow. Does it matter that just a few years ago, Coca-Cola took on de monumental marketin' task ov convincin' ACP (African, Caribbean, Pacific) populations to drink soda (Coke or some culturally-customized version ov Coke) instead ov water to quench their thirst. "Yeah! Don't drink water when you're thirsty--that's uncivilized--drink cold sugar to quench your thirst!" When Coke first dressed up Santa in its company's red & white, it probably had no idea that it woulda been able to follow de Santa outfit to as many countries as have heard about Christmas--an' which country hasn't? Greedy MNCs set out to purchase land around many countries' rivers an' streams, just so they can erect barriers to deny people access to their natural water sources, an' then turn around an' sell de same people bottled "spring" water from de same vendin' machine as soda--like soda's as healthy as pure water! An' btw, one MNC carries on years after it convinced people in African countries that its baby-formula was safer than breast-milk, causin' millions ov babies to die 'cause mothers didn't realize how toxic de water-formula mixture would be. (Mi only fitness goal was to exercise an' maintain mi current weight, but now that I'm monitorin' mi lifestyle in detail, I'm questionin' more ov this stuff.) These pre-natal check-ups do cause one to wonder an' ponder, don't they?

Small World

2005-01-28T12:11:00.000-05:00

Yu can't get away scot-free! (A scot was de tax that serf paid to feudal Lords)
Yu goin' meet yu Waterloo! (Waterloo's de Belgian city where Napoleon met his final defeat in 1815)
Please don't yu rock mah bones, cause ah don't want mah bones to be rocked!" (De only request that Bob ever made regardin' his skeletal remains, which if disregarded might cause Rita to meet her Waterloo.)
Evidently, some don't fear retribution too much, but retribution is a rough road. Small example, ah went to drop off mi Piglet at martial arts last evenin', an' was hopin' that someone would be loiterin' by de front desk, so that we wouldn't have to buzz an' then freeze outside waitin' to be let in. Luckily, someone was just bein' buzzed in. Ah tapped mi horn, an' de Piglet an' I made our way towards de woman who was prob'ly goin' in to pick up a child from de earlier class. She looked around, an' held de door, clutchin' her coat about her to keep warm. Then we recognized each other. She's de pushy store-clerk that spritzed De Piggy last Christmas! Oops! She looked like she thought, "There's de customer that gave mi de evil eye last Christmas!" She spun 'round quickly--almost as though she'd never seen us at all, an' walked off so that de door clicked shut. We knocked on de glass, as she walked away, but she wouldn't look back. We buzzed. We waited, hopin' that she'd soon be back wif her pick-up. Nope. She seemed to be takin' her own sweet time. We froze for a few minutes until a lady--wif her son, Matthew, Piglet's buddy--also early for de next class, was sent to see who was at de door. As we entered, we saw de pushy clerk finally leavin' wif two kids--prob'ly picked up her friends' kids for them. In those few freezin' moments outside, ah wondered whether this was retribution. Standin' outside when it's colder than hell frozen over sure feels like it, but it might not have been. Maybe, she'll be facin' some likkle retribution for bein' so spiteful an' vindictive--an' yes, Bloggers, it IS a small world, isn't it?

Pork-pourri

2005-01-26T14:45:00.000-05:00

Yu know how psychologists say that de most critical non-family bond is de first same-sex friendship that each ov us develops when we get to about 10 years old? Well, mi mind's been wanderin' to mi long-time friend from school days, K. She was such a marvelous kid. She used to be a helluva "dance instructor" when she was likkle, an' she used to be a raahtid hairdresser too--she used to fix mi hair in all kinda wacky hairdos--ah fink she believed ah was her doll even though we're de same age. She was mi confidante, an' mi company fe hug-up, as we crossed de road to our friend's house--we argued & 'gree back so many times! When we got to Wolmer's , an' we had no classes together at all, we drifted apart, then after high school, we totally lost touch. Last ah heard, she was workin' at Air J, an' she's been married for some time now, but ah don't even know her new surname. Mi other friend, S, migrated to Austria wif her parents over a decade ago--don't know where she is now. 'S' was so irreverent an' cool. Ah remember in confirmation class, she said she wouldn't confess ALL de sins ov that week to Father Cr. (sinful thoughts, masturbation, etc.), to repent ov them an' be forgiven through intercession. "Him can goh catch him jollies off-ah somebody else," she said. "'Cause me naw tell him all a my bizniz!" She told him only what she wanted to, even after we told her that if she didn't confess everyfing, then one day far away, Holy Communion woulda choke har. :-) She stuck to her guns, an' held out on him--but based on de parts that she told him, she still had to do more penance than everybody else! Suppose she did tell him everyfing--all now she'd still be sayin' Hail Mary's! She was one ov a kind.
I've long been wantin' a reunion, an' some sweet nostalgic posts from Sunshine, Kami, an' Jdid have added to mi resolve. When ah read Scratchie's post yesterday, ah remembered some-fing that K's mother said one evenin', when she was sittin' on her lawn chair, an' we kids sprawled off on her shiny veranda tiles. (We could talk to K's mom about anyfing.) 'S' was sayin' that fornication wouldn't be a big deal if people only did it once, an' never a second time. However, K's mom told us never to fall into de trap ov believin' that anyone can easily do wrong once an' only once. "You can't miss what you never had," K's mom said. "So it's much better for someone to remain a tantalizing thought than for you to convert that person into a disturbing memory. Confess an' repent." K's mom didn't seem too keen on confession booths either--'God is de direct line, why go through de operator then?' Scratchie's post was partly about handlin' extra-marital attraction, an' wif de memory ov K's mom, came this memory gem. "Speak the truth, and speak it ever, cause it what it will; (s)he who hides the wrong he does, does the wrong thing still." That's supposed to be de gem that helps spouses to tell each other everyfing--even de bad stuff, but still we don't have to burden a partner wif hourly reports every time someone tries to flirt wif us, or approaches our interest. That's just plain cruel, an' that kinda stuff would make anyone insecure. Funny how readin' a Blog stirred up such thought. Keep on Bloggin, folks.

Jus' De Facts, Ham.

2005-01-24T23:24:00.000-05:00

After talkin' to mi heartbroken uncle, an' hearin' how he's puttin' on a brave face every time he steps out into de $#&%@ freezin' London streets to rebuild what some triflin' gold-digger stole from him, it occurred to mi: these days, love sucks wif a straw where singles are concerned. Yeah, singles are free agents, they don't have to answer to anybody except God & de gov't, they keep odd hours, they flirt freely 'cause there's no wife to get mad at 'em, but at de end ov it all, they must battle this paranoia: who's just tryin' to use me? Ah mean, isn't that de world we live in? Ah know I'm no expert on de datin' scene (Mr. Pig an' I knew we were meant to marry from ah was 20 years old, an' over a dozen years later, we still believe we were right. Others didn't believe us then, but they've since shut up. PTL!), but de single life seems rougher an' rougher out there.
Point is, de world gets more materialistic by de second, an' that affects some people more than others. If you're not one who's drawn to de vanity, then you just might be a sittin' duck for those who want to con a sentimental schmuck. I'm glad I'm spoken for. Why? 'Cause I'm such a sentimental schmuck. Yes, I am. Truth is truth, an' I'm not ashamed to say it. Ah still melt when mi husband sneaks up behind mi an' puts a likkle kiss on mi neck. To me, that's priceless. And I just cannot imagine people goin' through these displays ov affection, knowin' deep down that their only concern is how much money they can con out ov de person who's weak for them. Those money-mongers are savages! Mi husband's lucky too, 'cause he's just as sentimental as De Piggy. However, mi equally sentimental uncle's not so lucky. As de sayin' goes, him pick an' pick, soh 'til him pick shet. Tough. There just has to be some sure-fire way ov weedin' out de users an' gold-diggers, aside from just plain old intuition. There's got to be a strategy to sussin' them out, an' castin' them aside from they bat that first eye-lash at yu. Time doesn't always tell, yu know, some-time it tell' too late! Singles, ah fink there should be a datin' resume--more precise than datin'-service profiles. De resume should contain totally updated med records, profiles ov ex-lovers, any short- & long-term goals, work history, family profile (in case de relatives are in league wif de gold-digger, like mi uncle's ex's relatives were), and an essay outlinin' habits, fitness facts, and any idiosyncrasy. This docket-resume should be notarized by a JP or notary public or any official who can bind de dater to what he/she's got on paper and penalize fraud. Some bandoolu ones woulda still slip through, but for de most part, it would put crucial info up front. Seems way ahead ov its time, ah know, but don't yu feel it's a good idea?

Snowy Sunday

2005-01-23T20:29:00.000-05:00

"I could've finished 'em off faster, but I paced myself, 'cause I wanted ta keep punchin' 'em." -- Jack Johnson, boxin' champ talkin' about de rivals he knocked out. Isn't that an unusual quote from De Piggy on a Sunday? Normally, I'd write along de lines ov, "God works all things to the good of them that love Him." That's still true, but maybe because it's snowin' so much today, an' instead ov goin' to church, ah stayed in an' spent a rough couple ov hours on de 'phone wif mi uncle who lives in London, mi outlook is skewed today. Mi uncle works hard. He used to run mi Grampy's furniture-lumber bizniz by himself before Grampy died an' family in-fightin' started. Customers loved him, an' used to ask for him by name. When de struggle over Grampy's estate wore on, Uncle moved back to England to seek his own fortune--an' after a few years, his brothers ran Grampy's bizniz into de ground. They weren't half as smart as mi favourite uncle. Yes, he's mi favourite. (I've mentioned him in previous posts.) This Blog's always been written in honour ov his crazy cockney accent. Ah love Smartie-pants dearly, but now he doesn't feel so smart. After leavin' de rift wif his siblings, he slaved in subzero temperatures and had his fiancee administerin' all his finances at home. He went all out for de past three years, not even buyin' a plane ticket to JA as he'd normally do. He worked without a vacation, an' to de best ov his knowledge, he an' his fiancee bought a house, a new car, and commercial property together. At 43, he's quite ready to marry her an' start a family this year. Then after labourin' in de cold, he finally returned to JA last year, an' was shocked to find that she was big big pregnant--for some other guy--and even more shocked to find that he doesn't own most ov what he thought he owned. That woman, her new boyfriend, an' her relatives own all that his money bought. Mi uncle's heartbroken. Now, he realizes de value ov blood-family, an' he wishes he'd had his sisters manage his finances in his absence or keep his foreign-currency account in his name only. He trusted his ex too much. His ex was never much for his family. She believes we're too deep into one another's bizniz. Evidently, she's wrong about that, since she had more access to his finances, an' more knowledge ov his budget than even his Mum did. He's crushed. His sisters are pushin' him to demand that his ex an' her relatives vacate de house that he worked so hard to buy. His ex is afraid ov mi Auntie an' told him, "I'll eventually pay yu back, but keep that coolie woman away from mi!" WHAT?? Now Auntie's more than willin' to tear that schemer to bits, but mi uncle said everyone should just forget about this, an' leave conniver to God. I wondered, Leave her to God? Searchin' mi mind for a biblical quote that would satisfy de inadequacy ov his statement, de only quote that came to mind was Jack Johnson's quote that started this post. Ah don't know how long Uncle can tame his most fiery sister--I'd hate for them to contribute to de violence in JA, but there's a lot ov animosity goin' on concernin' what his ex did. Still, in all their anger, no one realizes how hurt Uncle is in all ov this. I've tried to lift his spirits over de 'phone, but what does a guy in his position really need to hear at a time like this?

Forever Wolmer's

2005-01-18T13:36:00.000-05:00

Hi, Bloggers. Kami's Blog called to mind de school ah love de most. So today, I'm payin' tribute to WOLMER'S--"Age Quod Agis"--"Whatever we do, we do it to de best ov our abilities." Yeah, Bybee!! Whatta school! MB's Dad was a Wolmerian too, ah heard--a school that helped shape him into a fine father and a fine man, I'm sure. For those ov you who don't know, de Prep School hugged de Girls' School cavaliers side, and de Boys' School hugged de girls' upper school side toward Heroes Circle.
What some girls loved: Usin' de crosswalk--it was de rule.
What some didn't love: Usin' de crosswalk--it was de rule.
What some girls loved: De boys who idled below de 2nd storey 4th-form buildin' an' cheered every time they saw a girl they liked--Lawd help yu if yu slip ever show!--they'd go crazy, until Mr. Barnett would send someone to chase them away. They had de good mind to remain silent, and not to "boo", if they didn't fancy someone.
What some girls didn't love: De same boys who idled below de 2nd storey 4th-form buildin' an' whistled whenever they saw a girl they liked--one skinny boy wif a high curly 'Fro used to whistle whenever he saw me--and his friends used to whistle along wif him. Ah used to hold up mi Trapper Keeper to hide mi face whenever ah had to leave de classroom after classes or at lunch-time. That never stopped them; it only made them laugh--and they still recognized me. Yeah, 4th-form was a perplexin' year. On Sports Day, mi pony-tail clip came loose in de midst ov sports excitement (jumpin' up for mi House), an' de high-Fro whistler retrieved it. Mi just grab de clip from him an' run! His friends laughed, and de embarrassin' wolf-whistles continued. A girl from de neighbourin' 4th-form classroom had it worse; her Dad barked at de boys once, but de next day, de cat-calls continued.
Whom most girls loved: Mrs. Girvan, de English teacher, because she was such a stickler for good grammar, yet had such a great sense ov humour. Our favourite pet names for teachers: Scrip-cha Willie (Scripture/R.K. teacher, Mrs. Wyllis), Miz Bellum (LOUD French teacher, Mrs. Harrison--thunderous voice), Flat-head (boy's school Econ--taught us in co-ed 6th form--he allegedly always told de boys "Gwaan goh play Sunlight Cup!" Not cricket--he was sendin' them to stand out inna de sun as punishment. Wolmer's boys also called a certain teacher Mount EverBreast--'cause ov her generous 'buzums'--out ov respect for de teacher, ah won't say her real name.
Can't speak for de boys, but they always loitered by their fence--EVERY mornin' rain or shine, and critiqued de girls who took de bus to Torrington Bridge. God help any girl who allowed them to tamper wif her, they'd bawl out her bizniz by de fence--one girl's parents removed her from Wolmer's at de end ov 1st (!) form for that very same reason. Anyway, ah won't bash de boys. They were gentlemen for de most part--even though some ov them lurked by de tennis courts like stalkers. If a girl kept a safe distance, de most they'd do is whistle from a distance; they never got into malignin' girls who didn't pay them any mind. Gotta respect that. Big up to every Wolmerian out there in Blogland!! Have a nice day, everybody!

From Today's Sermon

2005-01-16T18:15:00.000-05:00

Here's what De Piggy took from today's sermon: To avoid tug-ov-war against God's divine plan, ask God that your dreams may be born within His holy will; that way, your every dream will be blessed by God and will surely come true, when God's will be done.
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer." Psalms 19:14
Have a luvly, Sunday, and a great week!

P.S. If we believe that our current hopes and dreams are not God's will, then we could ask Him to gently turn our hearts and minds only toward what He wants us to do.

Truly Heartfelt

2005-01-15T14:14:00.000-05:00

I wrote this poem because my heart is full:

Jamaica Is Sincerely Sorry

Jamaica is sincerely sorry.
Not only has she been killing her own,
She has alienated also admirers
And she is becoming lost and alone.

She has been hemorrhaging
But none have stanched the flow,
Many have been trying bravely
Going where most would fail to go.

But those who would kill Jamaica
Do not want to see her healed,
So young Dr. Nanton arrived on our shores
Not knowing his fate was sealed.

He was a stellar son
Of St. Vincent & The Grenadines
And would foster broader Caribbean pride
For all that he was and promised to be.

Now, we feel not just the angry hurt of the parent
Whose offspring cut short its own life,
But also the guilty pain of the parent whose bad seed
Murdered a neighbour's son, wasting the potential of their joy and pride.

St. Vincent, we can't make it up to you
We've long been battling this evil ourselves.
We who love our island can only give you
Our heartfelt condolence,
And say that this abomination
Is not our country's way.
It is a scourge that has held our region hostage
From which--by God!--we'll all escape some day.

Heroes

2005-01-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

Heroes like Martin Luther King roam among us every single day. If you doubt this, just read the story entitled "One of The Best" at Mad Bull's Blog . If it doesn't touch your heart, ah don't know what will. Have a nice weekend!

J'can Challenges

2005-01-11T14:14:00.000-05:00

Strange happenin's in JA, from what I'm readin', Bloggers. Doc and Scratchie report some perplexin' situations re crime & police. Two men missin', and Commissioner Forbes is out. I've always believed Trevor McMillan was de better choice for de post ov commissioner. No, Piggy's not political--but Mr. McMillan just had a credible, no-nonsense way to him. He spoke frankly, which encouraged transparency. Ah don't know Mr. Forbes at all--who does, really, after so many years in office? Scratchie mentioned Forbes' sudden show ov transparency: publishin' officers' privacy, like de people dem age can solve crime. Politics corrupt. Some police corrupt, some not.
Almost eighteen years ago, ah went to visit mi grandfather at Andrew's Memorial before he succumbed to his illnesses. De hospital felt claustrophobic, so ah left, and wandered about for a bit, tryin' to accept that Grampy was really on his way out. Ah didn't realize how shaken ah was, until a policeman pulled up beside me on his bike and asked, "Yu okay?" He looked at mi like he was tryin' to place mi age--ah was long an' cranky--but up close, he could see that ah was little more than a child. He escorted mi back to de hospital. Visitin' hours were now up, and mi uncle had driven off a few minutes earlier, believin' I'd left wif Auntie. (Them time deh,telephone an' telegram nevva even start wine together fe conceive cell phone, soh there was no way to call him back right away.) No problem. Ah was wearin' jeans--modestly bike-friendly gear--and ah had mi first and only bike ride! De policeman safely took mi home, told mi to stay sweet, and said, "Noh worry, dear heart, God a look-out fe Grampy." Ah never forgot that. De bad cops who draw down 'pon people an' try hustle money don't sway mi opinion. That one policeman will always be mi strongest impression ov de JA Constabulary Force. I'm prayin' for de force in JA, 'cause believe me, Bloggers, there are some good cops out there. Hope yu have a great day!

From De Sermon

2005-01-09T18:34:00.000-05:00

What De Piggy took from today's sermon is along de lines ov our New Year's sentiments--holding true, irrespective ov fame or fortune:
Compromise lives within boundaries; it is not boundless exchange. Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, never thinking that he was giving away his life. Give and take only within the perimeters of your good values, never invalidating yourself. People who truly mean you well will respect your refusals as readily as they accept your agreement. "For what doth it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul?"

De Ongoin' Oink

2005-01-05T19:13:00.000-05:00

Greetins from De Piggies! Last night, ah heard a troubled final-year UWI student tellin' Dear Pastess that she doesn't know what'll happen to girls who look like she does. She said she just doesn't believe that guys are interested in de purely Afrocentric. "Don't worry, sweetheart," Dear Pastess soothed her. "You'll soon find a nice guy." But she was inconsolable; she said that on de UWI campus all she sees are de biracial girls bein' wined and dined by both de Black and de mixed males, and that's led her ta feel that Black girls might never marry and multiply. She's out to pasture at her young age, it seems. Dear Pastess told her that she's got a lot goin' for her, as charmin' as her voice was and as eloquently as she expressed her (low) self-concept. She couldn't be convinced. That was disturbin'. Some men called in and tried to explain why they prefer de more obviously biracial (askin' if all J'cans really multi-racial), or even to pledge their admiration for Black women & EVERY kinda women. However, de girl had started a snowball rollin', and soon other women were callin' in to complain that de men who choose Black women refuse to give them de royal treatment that de biracial ones get. New version ov an outdated song, and just when it seemed like Dear Pastess was gettin' somewhere drummin' into them that times are a-changin' and color matters less these days, there was de one sour-orange who called to say, "Black man like me haffe lighten them lineage soh that them pickney won't born too Black and suffer." Aaaaaaagh!!!!! Stop it, JA! We'll lag behind de rest ov de world, if wi hang on to mental slavery. Stop it, JA--are they even listenin'?

Piggy's Old Picture

2005-01-03T22:44:00.000-05:00

Mr. Pig got such a kick out ov hearin' about a picture that was in our old album, he suggested that ah Blog about it. So here goes:
De boy in de picture that Mr. Pig saw is someone I'll call "Mystery," and when ah was seventeen, Mystery used to be at mi gate some afternoons--mi Grandma was a STRICT person. He was okay, in general--but what De Piggy really liked about him was his mischievous look that hinted at RUDE knowledge. We hung out at de plazas (de mall) most Saturday afternoons after ah completed mi chores, and although we called ourselves boyfriend & girlfriend we were pretty platonic, until he came up wif de bright idea that it was time he and De Piggy French-kissed. (He knew a lot about stuff like that--RUDE knowledge.) Anyway, that day he did some-fing that made mi believe ah was madly in love wif him. (Ah won't say what he did, 'cause it was so SILLY--mi husband laughed 'til he almost rolled off de couch and kept askin' me to repeat it when ah told him about that.) Anyway, Mystery said what he said and did what he did, and ah was SURE that ah loved him, and that he'd be mi number one in more ways than one. He said as much to some ov de boys at his school, and I'd been sayin' as much to a few ov de girls from mi school. But those plans were not to be; ah soon found out that Mystery'd had another girlfriend all along. (He denied de other relationship to de very end, and even tried to embarrass de poor girl into sayin' that they'd long been broken up--such a lost cause.)
Anyway, this just goes to show how puppy love can really be mongrel love, and how silly we were as youngsters. In front ov him, de girl said what he wanted her to say; then as soon as his back was turned, she admitted that she and he were still together. Ov course, De Piggy run him! It all turned out very well for mi though, 'cause for years now I've had somebody who's far more interestin'--Mr. Pig! ;^) Yeah, Bybee!!
Ah thought ov throwin' de picture out, but "Keep de picture," Mr. Pig said. "A part a life. A history." And ah guess it is, 'cause now I've written about it. Enjoy de rest ov your day, luv!

Sentence From De Sermon

2005-01-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

De Piggy took this from today's sermon: Few people wisely capitalize on their own doubts and fears. A man reportedly suffered mentally-debilitating nightmares; he'd always wake up frightened and exhausted. However, he capitalized on his own cowardice and wrote novels that led to lucrative movie deals. Now, he's a resounding success. De moral ov de sermon? Push past your fear this year, whatever it may be, and claim de benefits ov a fearless life. Have a great day!

Intros-Pig-Shon

2004-12-29T17:45:00.000-05:00

You're at a party. Very festive atmosphere. De music and de menu? Food for de stomach AND de soul. De crowd? Good, lively people--and your special someone is in your arms, so de atmosphere yields fun. Here's your choice, luv: do you enjoy de marvelous moment, or do you grieve because you know that not too far down de road there's bound to be cause for your grief? Your answer is your philosophy and your lot in life.
Recently De Piggy's been lost in introspection. How does one reconcile Christmas wif cataclysmic disaster? Yuletide tsunami? Like Mr. Pig said, "Table-claat!! What a signs-an'-wonda, eeh man!?" Ah commented at Jdid's that this is de stuff ov life--de yin and de yang--much like sweet AND sour tingle more than sweet OR sour. Still, last Sunday's sermon that ambled along these lines left me wif more questions than answers--thus, ah didn't post any sentence from it. "It is given to man to live but once," so ah guess it's given to us to respond to ONE moment at a time. If you're at de party, get involved in de party; if de party's a wake, get involved in de wake. But don't squander de joy ov a birfday party, fearin' de certainty ov de next wake. Guilt at others' sorrow in light ov our own happiness is a high mental hurdle--De Piggy can't quite scale it either, luv; but ah do believe that sometimes de bereaved are uplifted by others' good cheer. (No; don't sing, "It's a weddy time again," at a memorial service.) Bear wif me, I'm workin' this out in mi head, while ah write it. Maybe, I'll grasp it all by de end ov this post . . . Maybe not. Enjoy your day, Bloggers!

Merry Christmas To You

2004-12-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

One day left ta go; tomorrow's da Day! Merry Christmas to you, luv. May you and your family enjoy this holiday, and remember de reason for de season. Merry Christmas to Dr. D, de Scratchie family, sunny Sunshine, Jdid da poet, Kami/Abeni, da MB family, Princess P de la Jam, Stu & Jannis, Yammie, da Angry Doggy, Ciya & De Tower, and all de spouses, kidlets (as Ciya would say :-), and family, who add substance to our holiday season. To EVERYbody, may we all meet wif our heart's dearest desires.
"Happy holidays, happy holidays; while the merry bells keep ringing, happy holiday-y-ys to you!"

Glad 4 A New Day

2004-12-24T00:20:00.000-05:00

Wednesday was a somewhat heavy day, so De Piggy does welcome Thursday. I've been workin' off-site in recent weeks and merely goin' in to pick up or drop off mi work, or for departmental consultation and such. Wif frequent progress reports and one ov mi computers constantly chuggin away wif company documents in PageMaker and Office Suite, it seemed like this arrangement would've lasted well into 2005--hopefully de year ov Piglet #2, which is why mi husband and I've been eatin green leaves and tryin to rearrange mi work schedule in anticipation and advance ov next year. I'm findin' that ah like takin' mi work home wif me; it's great! And workin' from my home-office enhances mi productivity--there are no distractin' big-bucks earners second-guessin' their various admins' grammar, and askin', "Mel, isn't there a better way for me to say this?" or, "Mel, how would you write this?" Plus, ah had time ta learn Bloggin!
Alas, yestry-day, an admin misplaced de folder that contained mi summary ov four quarterly Sub-strategic Initiatives; she insisted that she never got it from me--although we both knew that ah dropped it off, replete wif a read-only soft file and spreadsheets crunched to de department's best advantage--on snowy Monday. We'd even exchanged pleasantries over Vanilla Chai. Eventually, she found de document--after her exec, who disapproves ov work-at-home flexibility, sounded off at Da Piggy. >:-(
His apology was a brush-off, at best. He and de likewise stingy, unethical company are inflamed hemhorroids wif no regard for their internal or external customers. This flexible schedule has some serious drawbacks, so de Pigly family definitely has stuff to work out in that regard. Have a better day, luv!

Daughters

2004-12-21T03:58:00.000-05:00

Hello, everyone, voici La Piggy! De radio announcer just played one ov mi favourite songs, John Mayer's "Daughters"--what a singer and a songwriter!
De song says girls need more love from their father--special request to man like Scratchie because him love and cherish Da Short One in an exemplary manner!--and I agree wif de song in general. Children in general need love--boys and girls--but ah really understand where de artiste is comin from when he focuses on girls--because a lot ov de moral decay in de Caribbean comes from girls and boys who don't know how to love--having never received love--and JA, especially, has a way ov sayin, "Women have baby, but men have maybe." Ah don't agree wif that kinda reasonin, but De Piggy won't get started on that! Anyway, here are some ov de lyrics from this wonderful song:

"Fathers be good to your daughters,daughters will love like you do,
Yeah, girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too.

Boys you can break, find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong, and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth of a woman's good good heart
On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world."

Snow Day

2004-12-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

'Twas a wonderful weekend, indeed, luv. Short and spicy. Then just as de weekend ended, de snow-storm started--ah wasn't too concerned about it when ah first heard about it; you know how de media can get people worked up wif these weather-watches, anyway turns out today is a snow day--not that it's snowin now, but it snowed all ov last evening and throughout last night, and the weather-person expects that we'll get more shear ice as de day goes on.
Anyway, must tell yu bout this: Ah heard a J'can lady complainin to another lady at de gas-station's check-out counter last night, that she didn't want her God-daughter spendin this Christmas wif her. (It had some-fing to do wif a lighter, an aerosol can, and an innocent snowman whose head was melted off at de godmother's house last year courtesy ov a fiery trick that de teenage girl learnt at a UWI dance wif Renaissance at de Maritime Centre in JA.) Anyway, to a captive audience, de woman preached in no uncertain terms about what a hooligan de girl was--"Yu si mi dyin' trial! That kinda behaviour from a bwoy wouldn't be so bad, but from a girl!" But then as she was leavin, she said to her friend, "Come wi hurry up and goh pick har up before she bun down de airport, yaah!" And ah realized that they were gassin up to go pick up de very same girl at de airport. De Piggy didn't fink that was such a great idea at all--if she doesn't want de girl there, how's she goin' to treat her once she picks her up? People doin' things that they don't want to do has to be one ov de major deterrents to world peace--'cause they'll have to let out their passive-aggressive resentment somewhere some time! And they could be standin right next to you or me when they finally let loose. Anyway, let's hope none ov them gets next to us today. Enjoy your day--and Kiss De Pig, luv!

A Word from The Sermon

2004-12-19T16:01:00.000-05:00

This is what De Piggy took from today's sermon: The baby Jesus in the manger is every homeless child you see this Christmas. Any gift you could give to one such child would be your gift to God. Have a peaceful Sunday!

Pig in De Oven Bakin'

2004-12-18T04:21:00.000-05:00

Actually, De Piggy's bakin' but she's not entirely in de oven, except to put in batter and take out cake! Sunshine and de Princess at de Tower asked mi about de spicy carrot cake recipe in their comments at one ov mi posts, so voila! This recipe is for everyone who loves to bake--Dr. D, de Princess might soon be bakin' this cake for your samplin pleasure ;-).
For the cake you need: 3 cups grated carrots, 3 cups sugar OR Piggy's way: 2 cups reduced (boiled down & cooled) fruit juices, 2 cups sifted flour, 2 tspns baking powder, 2 tspns baking soda, 1 tspn cinnamon, 1/2 tspn ground cloves, 1 tspn nutmeg, 1 cup seedless raisins, 4 large eggs OR Piggy's way: 2 eggs + 2 egg whites, 1 cup coconut oil OR Piggy's way: 1/2 cup coconut oil+1/2 cup apple/carrot puree, 1 tspn salt, grated rind of 1 orange, 1 tspn almond water, 1/2 cup crushed nuts.
Beat together egg and sugar, then add oil and beat to smooth consistency. Sift together the dry ingredients and add them to the egg & sugar mixture. STIR IN CARROTS. Yeah! That's De Piggy's favourite part, man! Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and bake for about 50 minutes. Test it wif a dry fork or toofpick. These ingredients should make two 9" round cakes.
For frosting you need: 4 oz Neufchatel (or regular) cream cheese, 4 oz fat-free cream cheese, 4 oz softened butter OR Piggy's way: 2 oz soft butter + 2 oz sour cream/yoghurt, 8 oz icing-sugar, 1/2 cup crushed nuts.
Cream the butter, sour cream, and cream cheeses together and beat in the sugar and vanilla, then LIGHTLY mix in the crushed nuts to coat them in the frosting. I always save some nuts to garnish de finished product--but do as yu like, luv, De Piggy ain't mad at ya.
This cake goes very well wif Sunshine's Punch a Creme, as ah discovered last night. Guests stoppin by to exchange gifts or just to say hi for a moment or two can enjoy a quick bite and a quick sip wif this combination, and be outta yu way in less than an hour, so you an' your loved one can have de place all to yu-self (especially wif de Piglet gone for movie night); in this precious privacy, two can eat and drink and joke around and discover how a touch ov liquor can clarify de matter ov Blog-links, and then yu can crash on freezin furniture on de balcony, and give nosy neighbors a field day--La Piggy's gettin carried away! Happy bakin and/or happy eatin!

Weekend Again

2004-12-17T14:46:00.000-05:00

Weekend--again. Dr. D was right, Bloggers: Christmas gone before we know it.
Not much goin' on. We're lookin forward to havin' some friends over tonight--but briefly though, 'cause me haffe start my bakin', and ah have to wrap some more gifts for Mr. Pig (a sweater and a few nice shirts). Aside from that, it's all done. So this is de wrap-up weekend, then mi can just watch Christmas run past into de new year. Hope you're ready too. That's all, luv. Have a great weekend!!

Piggy & Pastor

2004-12-16T08:11:00.000-05:00

Hi, Bloggers, how's your day goin'? Ah listened to a little bit ov Dear Pastess last night--his show is on far too LATE; people can't possibly listen to de whole fing and then wake up at a decent hour to start their day--anyway, for de past few nights, he's been givin' lovers advice like he does in The Star--although last night his official topic was depression--and ah realized that he's always tellin a lot ov de wives who call him not to punish husbands by shuttin' them out ov de bedroom, but to mediate their own marital disputes. Yet de wives who call seem to keep hintin' that, if they're displeased, de husband "goin' to sleep pon de couch" until every-fing's settled. That still boggles De Piggy's mind, Bloggers. Firstly, a husband would sleep on de couch just because wifey ordered him to do it? Secondly, if he likes de couch as opposed to de bed, that's a whole other talk-show; and finally, ah could never try to punish or spite Mr. Pig by banishin him to de couch or witholdin mi wifely favours when he annoys me, because ah like mi husband too much to do that sort of fing, so I'd be punishin mi own self. He's just a really good sort, thank God, and he doesn't play those mean-spirited games when he's irritated at me. Ah wouldn't want to spite mi-self by banishin' him, also because bein' wif him is one ov life's greatest sources ov enjoyment to me. Ah fink Dear Pastess should tell his radio congregation once and for all to stop callin him wif this silliness about usin' intercourse as a weapon to spite a spouse; that stuff can break up marriages. I've known mi husband for twelve years, and been married to him for almost ten, and so far we've got by wif just lovin' each other. And ah don't care who says I'm "soft" to mi husband; I'm not hung up on provin mi-self to people. Different strokes for different folks, ah guess. Okay, Bloggers, have a great day--and Kiss De Piggy.