Sunday, August 31, 2008

Baby Steps

Mi likkle gentleman is a very slim toddler. Some might say mawga, an' he doesn't have de heftiest appetite, but am pleased he's now eatin' a broader variety. He eats:

Half of any of these things: Banana, egg, apple, carrot, cup of broccoli or porridge wid any milk.

One of any of these things: handful of cheese cubes, walnuts, or almond slices; cookie; small bowl of any soup, vegetable, or rice an' peas.

Two of any of these things: sardines (single fish, not 2 tins), slices of bread (no crust)

He likes water, orange juice an' coconut water. Thank God.

Mi cousin was tellin' mi how one of her Kindergarten students pushed (no, shoved -- no, shub!) down another student, an' bust him head. She'd scolded de student, an' he was angry, so bein' unable to vent his anger on her, he merely turned to de nearest classmate, an' topple over student an' desk wid one raahtid shub (shove). After EMTs an' all dem left de scene, she still figurin' out how him coulda do that in her class. (Ah told her about "Large" an' she told me about that kid.) "Best to avoid dem, sometimes," was her conclusion. "'Cause some a dem really troubled." By de way, she mentioned that in that student's family, bein' scolded by a woman is a no-no. Oh. Well, then.

P.S. Re mi post about names, ah found out that a candle-maker's a "chandler."

Tami Chynn's New Look

(Tami & Sean Paul woulda mek a cute couple -- psst, Tami! S.P.! Get married to each other nuh.)
Her new look is reminiscent of Britney's best look -- Britney's blonde teenage look -- except that Chynn's got a shorter hairstyle.
Tami's lookin' good, though. Justin Timberlake woulda prob'ly faint from "mistaken Deja Vu" (Kinda like what Jdid wrote about in his "Faces" post.) to de way she favor de better-days Britney. De makeup people clickin' too: her eyes somehow look larger.
Anyway, har management know wha' dem doin', that's a proven marketable look, an' she sassy wid it! Roll it, gyal!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Parents' Worst Fear

Heard on de news how SpraggaBenz' 17-y-old son met his demise in an alleged shootout wid de police. That's news parents cringe at de prospect of hearin' re their own kids. De news report said that he was his father's namesake, an' that he played de younger version of his father's character inShottas (see left of lower part of pic above). Kids grow up fast -- one minute changin' de diapers, then...
That tragic report amounts to de relevant parents' worst fear.

Friday, August 22, 2008

To Scold Or Not To Scold

Ah heard Michael Anthony Cuffe, a J'can radio announcer, sayin' that he put off havin' kids for many years, 'cause he didn't want de responsibility. He understood that de statement sounded selfish an' shallow, but he understood that it is remarkably responsible to avoid incurring de responsibility until he was ready to embrace it.

Responsibility an' kids: What yu woulda do if whenever yu visit a certain household, there's always a certain kid, larger an' older than your kid, an' determined to assert himself in unpleasant ways wid de smaller kid? De older kid is part of a group that romp together an' are old enough to talk, etc.. My precious likkle jungle of bwoy doesn't know them much, 'cause we don't go there that often, an' he isn't talkin' clearly yet -- but de rest of de kids luv him, it's that big kid who's most unpleasant.

He disregarded a large box of toys, an' towerin' over mi likkle lightweight, he dragged a small car from mi Piglet an' almost made him fall. Ah told de older kid to behave himself an' give it back (it's not his). He got an attitude, threw it in Piglet's direction (almost hittin' Piglet's foot), an' ran off. Ah wanted to yell at that pickney or slap him -- just one sharp lick, just one. But that woulda been irresponsible... That rude likkle so-n-so.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

World's Fastest Then, World's Fastest Now

FYI: Pic on this post isn't a ChinaChambers scenario. Asafa, I'm puttin' your pic on this post, 'cause wi naw dash yu weh. You've been our champ for years, an' nutten caan stop de luv. De current winners like Bolt share de luv.

Will de fastest man in de world get de world's most impressive endorsements now?

Will Bolt be rakin' in de contracts like Anderson used to do?

Is that what usually happens wid non-U.S. champions, anyway?

Can yu imagine if Bolt face did bleach an' him hair did Sharptonized?

De man is a champion, an' now in particular a major role model. Asafa is a champion, an' now in particular a dif'rent kinda major role model, 'cause he's got a setback to rise above. De ladies were dark horses, eh, all champions an' role models. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE DE GLOBAL CAPITAL OF SUMTING OTHER THAN MURDER! JAMAICA!

Be inspired, all de pickney dem out there. Walk a mountainside. Eat cabbage an' green banana, an' ignore de burger an' fries. Dream yu dream, an' live it any likkle way yu can 'til de bigger days arrive. Inspiration a flow from de sprinta dem. Tek it. De sky's almost de limit.


Over de times of bein' absent from de blog, ah relocated -- among other tings. That would mean new church, new people, etc., but nutten like that yet. In essence, I'm not de most "people person" you'll ever meet.
Example: Relative introduced us to nice enough lady, who happens to mention that her friend had a nervous breakdown, an' it somehow fell upon her to step in as a friend an' keep de woman's daughter for a couple of months -- never mind that de woman has family in NY, nearness to de daughter's school, etc., made nice-enough-lady de likely guardian to offer assistance.
She said she don't know what kinda parent de mother is, 'cause de girl only have two pairs of shoes an' five undergarments. When ah asked why she woulda mention that to us an' she don't really know wi, she said that as decent folks she know wi coulda sympathize wid de negligence of that insufficient amount of clothin' that she will now have to spen' money to supplement. Ah told her that throughout mi school years, ah could recall havin' five "school" panties an' a "church" one (an' two "goin' out" ones that might never have existed, 'cause no occasion was important enough for mi granny to authorize de wearin' of dem). Granma woulda "tack up" an' replace only on an as-needed basis, an' even mi male cousin can vouch for de million times wi hear har say, "Mek mi tack up that brief fi yu!" There was no such ting as destroyin' one that yu didn't like, soh that it would be replaced. If she had to use needle, thread, glue, thumb tacks, fishin' line (yu get de point!), they would be "tacked up" an' worn. De "retired an' replaced" undergarments didn't disappear, they showed up durin' de holidays when yu deh home fi weeks. "It don't matter that dem old, drudge dem anyway - yu not stoopin' down fi play marble like de boys dem, soh de 'oldies' won't be seen out an' about." Maybe, she could've afforded better an' plentier, but ah didn't think it was negligence. Three pair of school socks, one pair of church socks, two school ribbons, two white church ribbons, one school handkerchief, one church handkerchief... Yu understan'. From a backgroun' in which yu have one pair of school shoes an' one pair of church shoes (an' if de school shoes at shoemaker an' yu wear de church shoes to school, den yu haffe "walk pon egg shells" wid dem), it's kinda difficult to consider five panties as negligence to daughter. "Nice enough lady" asked if ah only have five now. Taken aback, ah said no. Ah buy dozens, but Granma teachin's dem rule: Ah still mek use of just enough, an' use de rest to replace or for a "rainy day"/momentous occasion that might never come. "Nice enough lady" said maybe that's because she herself isn't from de "islands," an' in America, people at least buy enough clothin' to clothe demself an' their children wid comfortable abundance. A younger woman who was there said she's from de C'bean, an' her parents always bought her plenty personal wear an' every-ting, so it's not an island ting, it might be more of a social ting, as her family's always been Extremely Upper Class, she said, "no offense."
Mi noh bother seh nutten else. Maybe "nice enough lady" was tactless in mentionin' it, maybe ah was tactless in discussin' it. Obviously, wi don't agree, an' she waan convert me to seein' de mother as negligent, widout givin' a proper example of it. Mi naw goh agree, soh that's it.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Let's Call a Shovel a Spade

"Why dese girls bleachin'?"
"Why dem doin' such a eediat ting like damagin' dem skin?"

People are rational -- or at least that's what economic theory says. "Dese girls" are people, so at least in much-proven scientific theory, they are rational. They perceive a significant benefit to lightenin' a dark complexion, soh dem tek de significant risk of burnin' off de dark pigmentation -- repeatedly.

When will they stop? When:
1. ...pigs tek de wings of de mornin'.
2. ...all dem people inna Spain stop discriminate so politically incorrectly an' start to luv dem own black self:).
3. couple givin' de anti-bleachin' talk at de technical school no longer consists of a black "success story" of inner-city origins an' his near-white wife, who isn't enough for him, as he sneakily pursues de adolescent "brownin's" in his audience.
4. ...wi stop shunnin' de sun an' becomin' vitamin D deficient, for not havin' been "that black in a loong time!"
5. ..."high color" isn't a ticket outta de ghetto on some newly-famous dj-chantin' wagon.
6. ...When L'oreal no longer allegedly feels de need fi bleach Bebouncé.
7. 1drop rule an' de blue veins get sincerely done wid.
8. ...we understan' de all-encompassin' influence of ALL de world-powwa's characteristics (racial, cultural, an' otherwise.)
9. ...our own family members finally leggo de concepts of colonial/plantation social stratification.
10. ...newa World Orda chip een.
Everyone in every country inna de world is seekin' a path to "betterment," respect, an' social acceptance. De impetus for bleachin' is no mystery at all.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Abstract "Dinnertime Talk" in de Pigly Household

Hubby heard that, ages ago, people's occupation determined their surname. For instance, a carpenter would be Mr. Carpenter, an' his son would usually continue de name in continuin' his father's line of work. So, accordin' to that theory, a farmer would be Mr. Farmer, a fisher would be Mr. Fisher, a cobbler Mr. Cobbler, James the milliner would be Mr. James Milliner, etc.

Ah said to hubby, "Mi aunt married name 'Sailor', so her uber-great-grandpa-in-law was a sailor, then."
Hubby says, "Piggy, if her uber-great-grandpa-in-law was actually Mr. Kente, de African, an' his slave-owner was Mr. Sailor, then his descendant wouldn't be Kunta de 33rd, he might just be Mr. Toby Sailor."


Then, wi started ponderin' how names affect concepts. For example, de surname "Driver": (luv Minnie, by de way), that name implies then that a chariot or carriage, etc., had to be 'driven' so de concept of drivin' wasn't born wid de advent of de automobile. "Or is there a "Mr. Rider" or "Mr. Walker" or "Mr. Carrier"... Also, Merchant an' Vendor; but maybe not Servant, Artisan, or Lumberjack. Names were allegedly translated in modern times too, names like Sargeant, Officer, Minister, an' so on. Descriptive names an' animal names exist as well, names like Fine or Lion, in much de same way Native Americans use descriptive names. There might have been another word for seamstress, or else bein' de purview of women, seamstress was a less likely surname.

"Yu might hear de last name "Surgeon" but not de last name "doctor" or "physician" so maybe all doctors used to chop, or surgeons didn't need to chop, per se, ages ago. An' there's no such last name as dancer, is there? So, maybe dancers then were hoppers or tappers, as in Mr. Hopper or Mr Tapper. An' ah mentioned to hubby that de allegedly oldest of de professions isn't represented, so women prob'ly weren't named for their occupations but for their father's if de woman didn't marry. Mr. Pig thought for a moment, "Hooker," he said, "De name 'Mr. Hooker' exists." Far-fetched though, soh wi didn't bother pursue that concept. Maybe, de less legitimate occupations back then (whores, even actors, etc.) weren't recognized. But then again, "Minstrel" is prob'ly a last name for actors. An' maybe dif'rent prominent occupations existed then, for instance, "Mr. Reader," " Mr. Messenger," or "Mr. Forester" (unlike 'busher', forester cut timber/lumber??).

Now de whole Pigly family thinkin' up occupation-type names. Outta nowhere one of wi might shout: "Potter" or "Tiler" or "Priest."

We thought of: Cook, Butler, Parson, Mason, Author, Singer, Joiner, Butcher, Baker, Friar, Blacksmith, Goldsmith, Tinker, Brewer ... an' ah think that's it. It's fun thinkin' dem up, an' kids enjoy it. De kid in all of us too. Try it nuh!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cast Your Bread Upon The Water

Yesterday never promised me this mornin'
This mornin' never promised me this evenin'
Today not promisin' me tomorrow
But ah still mek plans.

Ah don't really mek firm plans, anyway, just tentative ones that hang pon de knowledge that He might change dem at any moment. That, ah guess, is havin' de fear of God. 'Cause God call any number any time. De one in de box can't mourn dem-self, frien' an' family do that, an' blame one another, an' argue 'bout de bizniz of de dearly gone.

Could this blog be a diary fi mi pickney dem look to for a deeper insight to me -- it's anonymous, but maybe not -- ah should prob'ly start writin' now wid great focus.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Happy Independence!

Jubilee! Jubilee!
This is de year of Jubilee.
Jubilation pon de nation!
Victoria dash wi weh.

Jubilee! Jubilee!
De Queen set harself free
An' freedom trickle dung to we.

Trickle likkle dung --
Jubilee, all de same.

De islands get life abundant?
Or abundant life sentence?
Praise God, an' mean it,
Happy Independence!
This is not Independence blasphemy -- if it's a blast-fi-me, it's a blast-fi-yu as well.

Him Mad

If him run yu down wid a rum bokkle
'Round East Queen Street
An' you & him a strangers
Who neva before did meet,
Him mad.

If him seh, "Me a big-time rappa!
Nuff dollars me coulda drop!"
But when yu tell him, "Rap a verse!"
Him seh, "Wrap verse? Me wrap fish inna Star at Chiney shop."
Him mad.

If lightnin' flash, an' him jump inna de air
Wid Kodak smile: "Jah-Jah tek mi pitcha!"
But de smile is all him a wear
Naked as truth, but like truth him noh care.
Him mad.

Don't say, "Is crack him crack --
him neva breastfed when him did likkle,
Him only get strap an' chicken-back."

'Cause mad doan simple; mad tek much more than dat.

Maybe, him mad.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

2 Two's

It would be nice if (wed or not) Mr. & Mrs. Pitt stay together. Mr. Pitt seems like a genuinely nice guy.

ChrisB an' RihannaF seemed like they'd make a nice couple, before they became a couple. Now that they're an item ... dunno. Treat each other well.

Nowadays Life

This is de kinda show that tops mi list, nowadays. There's a big, big world filled with children's shows that fill mi life in recent times. Anyway, de pic on this post is Snook, de new top-celebrity.

SEX AND THE CITY is Rubbish.

SJP sold her soul, or wha' ...
She's somebody ah always liked from de Square Pegs days, however: Sarah Parker's a married woman (forget de latest gossip surroundin' her marriage). She's expressed in interviews that she lives a pretty conservative life: Mom, Dad, Kid. Yet, on screen, she's de fashionable Carrie, blankly an' brusquely askin' a young woman who told her de woman's savin' herself for marriage, "Saving what?" As though such abstinence were ridiculous. That scene from de popular series seems to imply that celibacy or virginity is gauche. Forget conservative-married Carrie, does SJP consider that she's advocatin' dangerous promiscuity to countless young girls who idolize her? Maybe she soothes her conscience wid de excuse that it's just a role she's playin'.

A 13-year-old girl told me that she admires Carrie, 'cause Carrie & friends are so happy an' pretty. That girl's lackin' parental guidance, but many older females share de same delusion.

So many people actin' like de show's a grand celebration. Chupse.